A retreat participant shares her experience of healing from sexual trauma during a Joe Dispenza immersive meditation retreat. She describes a moment of complete physical and emotional release during meditation and the profound shift that followed.
Transcript
The first meditation it hits, I was scanned from head to toe in that meditation. It was like a searing light and I knew it. I knew the room healed me. I felt it just gone. 7 years ago, I was sexually assaulted. And the week prior to my sexual assault, I had all sorts of intuitive hits that weren't dangerous. They were subtle, but they were hits that made me want to disregard that information. I I didn't want to go and hang out with the guy. I just I gave him a pass. I I I didn't listen to my own intuition and it cost me greatly. After my sexual assault, when that happens, you have to figure out consent. It's incredibly difficult. So, when it comes to consent, you have to think, okay, am I going to go blow up my life? Am I going to go and blow up somebody else's life? The whole process is non-consensual. I didn't want to do any of it from the start. And so, you get depressed, you get sad. Um, I started getting treated for PTSD. And PTSD triggers will just take you out. They will just even in this moment talking about it. I'm breathing through it, but PTSD will take you out. And it's a very surprising thing. And it will take your life over if you let it. for seven years. I was treated for PTSD. I um went to all sorts of therapy and counseling. And then in October of 2024, I was diagnosed with felicular lymphoma. It's crazy. It's scary. You have to when you have lymphoma, it's a blood cancer. You have to get a bone marrow biopsy to confirm whether it's stage one or four. So on Halloween, I got a bone marrow biopsy in America. And that was a few days before the presidential election of 2024 and it takes 7 days to get the results. So the stress I didn't find out whether I had stage 1 or four until 2 days after the election. That was a very stressful week. So stage one. So I thought okay I have time. When I got diagnosed with cancer I had been doing Dr. Joe's work for a long time and this event was already scheduled. I immediately knew I called and I asked somebody that was on staff that I know how many people are coming to the event in December the 10day and they said 2200 and I said okay 2200 people I know I didn't feel strong enough yet to do it myself and I knew that the 2200 people in that room were going to heal me. I knew they would give I knew they would show up for me. I knew it and they did. The whole month I did two meditations. I did one in the morning and I did one in the afternoon. I called it cleaning my filter. Like I would start out strong in the morning. By the afternoon I'd feel a little sludgy and I'd throw in a 15 or 20 minute one. I just needed to keep my filter clean and just 2200. It's coming. I'm going to day one when I go to that 10-day event, the very first meditation, I am going to be healed from follicular lymphoma and I will never I will be cancer free forever. I get here and the first meditation it hits. It hits. I was scanned from head to toe in that meditation. It was like a searing light. And then I was passed a bracelet in the meditation that said cancer-free. And I knew it. I knew the room healed me. I felt it just gone. They wanted to do radiation right away. And prior to um the 10day, they measured me for whatever this radiation is. When it's your hips, I don't know, they measure you for it. So after the after the training, after the after my cure, now I'm going to call it cure. After my cure, um on the 19th of December, right after the whole healing, um they couldn't find they couldn't find the lymphoma. They couldn't find the two things. I felt them gone before I left this earth here, this this dirt, this Cancun, this place. And they get there and they said it was spontaneous remission out of nowhere. The redemptive part of my story is that when that happened, everything shifted for me and I chose to shift it for me and I was healed in these rooms. And I went home and immediately in January, I was contacted to um start helping with a bill legisl legislation in Minnesota. And I decided to help and I went and I testified at Capitol Hill many, many times. and we were able to get a bill for sexual assault survivors. It's Senate File 2200. 2,200 people healed me in this room. And now thousands of victims will have a bill. It It didn't help me, but 2,200 people in that room helped me. So I am now cancer free and my story is less about rape, less about PTSD, less about cancer and it's more about forgiving myself from that initial thing that I just I made a mistake and it's okay. I made a mistake and I now get to live freer and smarter and stronger and I get to help other people with my story.