On Heaviness, Body Identification and the End of the Self

In the unawwakened consciousness, the world is has a enormous heaviness and an enormous seriousness to it. It is it everything is so serious and matters. Every tiny situation draws you in and it becomes so serious and you don't realize how insignificant most situations actually are. If the body is not experienced, does the world appear? >> Can you relate to something in your experience? >> Sure. Uh if you don't experience sensations or sometimes feel a hollowess uh it feels like the body is not experienced always. Does it mean that this is headed where uh where we say the world is not experienced anymore? Um and I want to know your particular experience right now of of the world. In other words, uh how do you feel, sense, perceptions and what's the state of your consciousness? >> Okay, I'll tell you and then I'll ask you about yours. It's hard to find the words to explain it. Um somewhat um insubstantial the all the things that that happen around me. It's a little bit uh like a a light show or some insubstantial. I know that everything is in the process of disappearing and appearing and disappearing. So the world doesn't have that heaviness for me that it has otherwise in a normal identified consciousness. um a little bit like a dream and uh there's something that is untouched by it. That's the uh the timeless the timeless consciousness. And from there I experience the the the flux of becoming of the being born dying forms appearing disappearing. Um it's quite quite pleasant. Uh you may that there were two uh two philosophers in ancient Greece who had contradictory philosophies. Heraclitus or Heraclitus uh said the famous saying you cannot step into the same river twice because everything flows. His main the statement that he's remembered by is everything flows in ancient Greek panta pre means everything flows. So he saw how the Buddha's teaching of impermanence whatever you see is not going to last it everything flows and that that is one truth. And then the next philosopher came panides who said uh nothing ever changes. The complete they didn't like each other. Nothing ever changes. The the reality is unchangeable. The reality. So they were both right. Palminidus was referring to the the timeless realization of consciousness and nothing changes there and Heraclitus was referring to the flux of phenomena the world of form and so that's really when there's a certain there so there's a detachment from things I I participate in the world but There is a there's a space around it like a yes I think the dream is the the closest that come but it's a lucid dream so I'm I'm in it and it's it's not an it's it doesn't mean that everything is I don't see it as everything is totally is is totally delus illusory that there is something in the dream that is of the essence and it is important that these dream figures that are sitting here should awaken out of the dream by realizing who they are beyond form. So that's that's important. So I value the world in that sense. It's very hard to talk about one becomes so used to one's state of consciousness. I certainly don't think about it. So it's it's very hard to verbalize uh what what is your relationship with the world? >> So there was a time where I um awakened and um it appeared to be a dream. So um illusory and as you said and uh everything had a relative quality except from the the place where I was watching. So uh and uh over the course of time there were many events that brought me back to the egoic consciousness and back out of it as well and I feel like I'm witnessing right now and sometimes the body uh dis not disappears completely but is not felt and appears again and I believe that this means that the world is probably on its out then. Um so what does that mean? I that means um I want to know in terms of sense perceptions how it would appear and also whether that means I would experience everything as consciousness and probably no body. So >> yes but don't go into too much uh mental abstraction. Just stay with your immediate experience. And uh I know that in the unawwakened consciousness the world is has a enormous heaviness and an enormous seriousness to it. It is it everything is so serious and matters. Every tiny situation draws you in and it becomes so serious and you don't realize how insignificant most situations actually are. Um, this is why I sometimes say go to cemeteries and look at the gravestones. I love that you look at the gravestones and you see the date of birth and the date of death and between there's a a dash 2 in long on a big gravestone several inches long. And that's that was the life that was lived. All the anxieties and problems and suffering and things were so he so terrible the drama and so heavy and so important. What's left now? The dash between the date of birth and the date of death and that if you contemplate that that detaches you then the world that can bring about awareness. It's really a contemplating impermanence as you know the in In some Buddhist traditions, the monks go to the mog where the dead bodies are kept to meditate. And that is in order to contemplate without flinching to contemplate the fact of impermanence of all forms. And what better place to contemplate the impermanence of all forms and be surrounded by dead bodies. Now that would be in a normal state of consciousness very scary. You wouldn't want to do that. But it can be a very powerful thing. In the western in western civilization death is still although we little bit changing. Death is such a fundamental primordial fact of life is the the short-lived nature of of the form is is even now not as much as before but even now death is still a kind of taboo in western civilization. Uh so it's hard to see a dead body. If you wanted to see a dead body unless it's a close relative or family member it's almost impossible. It's illegal. You can't say, "I'd like to see a dead body." No, you can't see a dead body. You have to travel to India. If you want to see dead bodies because it's done, it's not a taboo there. And it can be very shocking to see that a body is being a few hours after death, a body is being taken to the fire and burned. That give that is that teaches you more about the reality of of it. the fact of impermanence in any scripture. So there's the world loses its heaviness and its absolute seriousness. Uh the way I put it uh things may still matter. They make a difference. They say it matters whether your body is healthy or not or whether you live in a in a tent and are cold or live in a nice place that is warm. It it is relatively things are still relatively important in this world. I wouldn't say nothing is some teachers do that. It's relatively important but not absolutely important. You have to know the absolute. What is absolutely important and that is knowing who you are. And then any in the world of relativity, anything that you experience, you can actually still enjoy sensory per sensory experiences. you can enjoy. Uh I know there are c certain teachers and certain uh in certain traditions that they despise the world. These traditions exist both in India and they also have existed for many centuries in the west in Christianity of of despising the world and uh denying the the world completely. uh this is I believe not helpful because you're doing something before it there's never a despising of the world there can be there's an appreciation of the world but without mistaking it uh for what it is not fully realizing the impermanence of it and yet enjoying that also you don't need it but you enjoy it we can talk about this for a long time but The important thing is your state of consciousness. How you how you relate to everyday situations. It always comes back down to how do you how conscious are you in everyday life? Do you get seduced by the still get seduced by circumstances and so on in your life that draw you out completely into reactivity? Or are you able to deal and interact with situations and people always having in the background an awareness of these the spaciousness the stillness who you are know yourself as consciousness or do you lose yourself in the world which is also in your mind only you can this is the determining factor so that's your practice is everyday life. >> Yeah, I I I think I'm not lost. I doesn't look like I can be lost uh easily. Um yeah. Um I just have a couple questions. Do you experience your body visually? I mean, do you see it? >> Yeah. I think it's here. >> Yeah. If you go deeply into the body with your attention, then you go beyond the body. Going beyond the body can easily be done by taking your attention into the body and then realizing the animating presence is far beyond the body. So you can go into the body and realizing the animating presence the consciousness without which there would be no body and you've already gone beyond the body. So you could use the body as a doorway just you walk through and then you so the body is not who you are. It's a misperception of who you are. It's a sens sensory misperception and that's fine. I know that's this will dissolve at some point. Uh, and I'm perfectly fine with that. This is not the the visible body is not who I am. So, I'm not going to die. The body is going to dissolve. That's fine. Uh, there is no death. There's only life. And as I said before somewhere the opposite that life has no opposite. Death is not the opposite of life. Death is the opposite of birth. So thank you.