Tony Robbins: How to Break Any Negative Pattern

Some of you are really terrible with yourself. You think you there's something wrong with you. No, you have something you call a pattern and you call it you. But you're much more complex. If you get really angry or you get really scared or you get really overwhelmed or you get really stressed, any negative pattern, do you do that every moment? Do you overeat every moment? No. You do it when you get in a certain state. So, all we really have to do is shift your states. Now, when I talk about states, if I was going to go a deeper level for you and you were studying with me at a deeper level, I would say it's actually personalities because we all have multiple personalities. We like to pretend we have one cuz it's so much simpler. But you've ever been with anybody and then you go, "That's not John. John's not like that." Yes, John is like that. You just don't see that part of John. [laughter] John doesn't show that part very often, but that's part of John. There are many parts of you. Some of you put the wrong part in charge of your business. It might be a perfect part for something else. Like, I've got a part that would want to please everybody all the time. I grew up as a pleaser. And that was a wonderful thing in many ways, except it made me constantly focused on what was going on and pleasing [music] other people rather than knowing in my center what was right. So, it might have worked well for friendships, but it sure as hell didn't let me run a business because then I got in business with some sharks and try to please a shark and [music] they eat you. So, I had to learn to put a different part of me in charge of the business. You saw the change. That was a shift. That was a shift was in charge. So, once you put the right person in charge, you won't be there. One pattern, fear. A decision made from fear is almost always the wrong decision. Not always, almost always. Because when you make a decision based on fear, you're living in a world of scarcity of some sort. And when you're in scarcity, you're not resourceful. When you're not resourceful, you accept limitation. When you're strong and certain, you find a way around the challenge. You find a way through it or around it or you find another way. So, it's fear that stops us. And fear is what stops everybody for having the quality of their life. It isn't just stopping your business, it stops the quality of relationship. Some people are afraid to upset their kids and so they please their kids all the time and then their kids are messed up. Then they expect their partners in life to please them the way you did and they don't and they don't understand why they can't have a sustained relationship. [music] Fear is the only enemy and it's not outside you. It's a pattern. >> So all you got to do is trade fear [music] for faith. That's all you have to do. And you how do I do that? I don't know if I have enough faith. You were born with faith. It's just a matter of you using more of that muscle [music] or less. It's already there. I've prove it to you. How do you drive down a street with nothing but a yellow line dividing you from crazies who fall asleep, who are drunk, or don't pay attention or texting and cross those lines? And do people get killed every single day in every city in the world? And there's nothing protecting you but a yellow line. And people die every day as a fact driving their cars. And yet you still get up and drive your car. Why? Because the alternative is to have no life. But people forgot that during co somehow they let them scare you so much they caused you to live in your own house and never leave and be afraid of another human. over [music] all kinds of statistics that didn't turn out to be quite so accurate. Don't ever let that happen to you again. I don't just mean co I mean the policies that make you live in fear. They can't give you fear. They can only offer it to you. They can time trigger it to you. But if you're a leader, [music] you might be afraid, but you don't let fear stop you. That's courage. That's faith. How do you drive that street knowing every day someone died? Because otherwise you have to stay home and do nothing and go nowhere and be nobody. How do you avoid criticism? Aristotle said [music] simple. Say nothing, do nothing, be nothing, and no one will criticize you. And in social media, people are professional critics who've never done anything in their entire life. Their only way to be significant is try to make someone else feel insignificant. And they have no consequences. You don't know who they are. You can't reach them. They never say that to your face. So they hide somewhere behind a keyboard in the dark and do it. And they think they feel significant for a moment, but it's never enough cuz it's a false drug cuz they know they're not significant. But if you let [music] them control you, you've given up your freedom. So the game from here on out is not can you win. The game is do you put the right part of you in charge? Do you put the courageous part of you? That doesn't mean fearless. There is no one who is fearless. You were fearless, you'd be dead. It means you feel it but do it anyway because there's something that matters to you more than your fear. Do everything within your power because it's something you value more perhaps than even your own life. So if you have a mission, the game changes. If it's just to make money, not enough. But the money is how you're able to sustain the mission. It's the lifeblood of your mission. It's how you're able to attract quality people. It's how you're able to have them have a great quality of life and you too. So, it must be included in your mission. And that's why we need a plan. That's why it needs to be simple enough that we are certain we can achieve it. But the only mess it up is allowing yourself to go to fear. And when you say it's me, it is never you. It is a pattern. When you think it's you, it's hard to change you. It's easy to change a pattern. So, don't ever say it's you again. It's a pattern or it's a habit. I developed perhaps but it's only a habit. It's not me. There is a difference. And there is a part of you that is bigger than any fear. There is a part of you that is immutable. There is a part of you that is everlasting. It's beyond the mind. It's beyond the body. You might call it soul. You [music] might call it spirit. You might call it essence. And when that part of you is activated for something you want to serve bigger than you, there's a different level of emotion. [music] And emotion is the fuel that drives all of this. You want to learn to direct and shape those, not let them [clears throat] just be triggered willy-nilly by somebody outside you who earns money to get your attention by scaring you or pissing you off. That's unfortunately the world we're in today. It follows you in your pocket. Anything that can tear something down is more valuable to the news media than anything that'll build something up. They're not bad people. They're not trying to do anything wrong. They're doing [music] their job. They're making their shareholders richer. There's only one way. Get you to watch more, listen more, click on, read articles that are worthless with the right headline to hook you. But you must take control back if you want the life you deserve. The way we take dreams and make them real is we push through everything that other people give up about. And how do we do that? There's a part of you that will make that push. It just needs to be the part you nurtured more. There's an old movie years ago about this man who's a mathematician. It's a true story. Gustle Crow was in the film. I don't remember the name of it. Maybe you do. A beautiful mind. Won an Academy Award for it. True story. There's one line in the movie I'll never forget. This guy is a schizophrenic and he's a genius, but he's losing it. And somehow he pulls it back together after all this crazy shock treatment and horrific things you would never allow today. And he said, "How did you do it?" He said, 'Well, every day I know there is a monster in me and I know there's a great person. So, I feed the great person and I starve the monster. The monster is the fearful one. Whatever you feed gets bigger, gets stronger. So, you got to feed the best part of yourself every day. You got to demand the best part of you. You got to not settle for less than you can be or do or share or create or give. You got to not tolerate the stuff you used to tolerate in yourself. That doesn't mean you're inhuman. It doesn't mean that you don't have bad moments. It just means they're moments. They're not days, weeks, months, and years. You snap out of it. And each time you snap out of it, you're stronger because it reminds you how quickly you can get out of it. It's not that you never come down. It's not that you never get knocked down. And so you get up quickly and keep moving forward. If you keep moving [music] forward, you will achieve whatever you dream. But you got to keep moving forward. And what will hold you back is only one thing. Fear. Fear. You're not enough. Fear you don't know enough. You don't have to know enough. And whether you're enough or not, something loved you enough to give you the gift of life. A beating heart in your chest that you did not earn. You didn't have to prove you were worth it. Something in this universe, call it God, call it the universe, call it whatever you want to call it. I'm not here to tell you what to believe. But something created us. Something created you. And something expects you to become something more. That's why it feels so good to become more, to give more, to do more, to shape more, to [music] break through, to overcome your fears, to strengthen yourself. And most will miss that incredible nectar of growth and expansion and contribution and meaning and impact and achievement because they let their fear [music] dominate them. There's a part of you that'll always be fearful. Just don't let it be in charge. >> [music] >> D.