Hans Wilhelm: Forgiveness Beyond Self-Righteousness

hi I'm Huntsville a and in this video and the life explained series I will talk about forgiveness it's a huge topic and I can only cover some important points and I hope you forgive me for not being able to cover everything in traditional forgiving we say something like I forgive you for the wrong that you have done this of course is a very self righteous that basically implies that you were wrong but I'm right or I'm so much better than you because you once failed our ego loves this type of forgiveness because it puts the other person down and enforces separation is there another way of looking at forgiveness come let's have a look as spiritual beings our true home is the spiritual world but we do incarnate here into the material world on earth because it allows us to grow faster and to become free again and to clear up past karma so together with our spiritual guide or guides we discuss our future life in great detail before we were got born and then we purposely planned certain situations that give us great opportunity for growth and freedom from the human perspective these situations may seem horrendous brutal or inhumane they are just like hurdles for a sprinter we ourselves have lovingly put them into our pasts so that we can challenge ourselves and become better and free again as a matter of fact very often loving spiritual beings have agreed to incarnate with us into this world at the same time to provide us with these difficult situations for our good they do this out of love for us but here on earth we perceive them often as certificate ones the ones who give us a trouble the pain the suffering because once we are here on earth we don't remember anything of these souls arrangements that we have done prior our birth now let's see how it looks on earth let's imagine for a moment we are somebody who has here on earth has totally forgotten who this magnificent beautiful spiritual being that we are in truth and we think while life is just get best whatever I can get so I'm they are trying to cheat lie and steal our way through life and this whole universe is based on sending and receiving so continuously we are sending out vibrations of stealing cheating lying and of course whatever we sent out comes back to us eventually and if we do not change our behavior pattern sooner or later we have a person who is doing the same thing to us a cheater a liar a thief whatever he is expressing what we have been doing all the time to others like for instance in this case here let's assume he is actually physically hitting us yeah I know this is maybe an extreme example but the dynamics are the same hitting like an ax spouse beating everybody who witnesses will agree that he is the bad guy and we are the poor poor victim here but is that true what actually is happening here in reality the first rule is that there are no accidents and lives everything has a purpose and everything is for our good this is a friendly universe even in this situation the second rule is that whatever others ultimately do unto us we have been doing inwardly to ourselves as well as to others for instance the person who is physically hitting us is reflecting back to us what we have been doing inwardly to ourselves we have been hitting and even hurting ourselves with our beliefs in this case most likely our unworthiness a belief that we feel we need to be punished for something that we imagine we have done and now the Punisher has appeared in our life and gives us what we have been doing to ourselves all the time now this is the only reason why this person the perpetrator has come into our life he mirrors back to us what we have been doing to ourselves he has come to provide us with the unity to get in touch with our original pain and see how a certain belief about ourselves was running our life he is our wake-up call in truth this perpetrator is not a bad guy at all no he's actually a helper in disguise is soul with whom we have made a soul contract to help us is so who cares deeply for us and has taken on a very difficult life of an angry person only to teach us a lesson to wake up from our false beliefs this soul did this out of love in truth nothing horrible has really taken place here the person who hits us the person who steals from us the person who cheats on us the person who betrays us is always reflecting the very same thing back to us they are expressing what we have been repressing or doing unto others life always gives us many warnings beforehand but if we don't recognize these warning signals and don't change these people will come into our life and help us to realize the damage that we are doing to ourselves and others in truths they are our Savior they're here to help us it's all about us and our distorted view of ourselves and the world so is forgiving such a person the right response strictly speaking not thinking that person would be a far more appropriate action he deserves our deep gratitude so the first step here for us is to allow this new understanding this new concept of the situation sink into our mind into our heart it might be very difficult at first because it is so new for most of us but once we understand that the outer situation is nothing but a reflection of what goes on within us we may be open to this new way of looking once we have totally grasped the reality of this situation we will feel a noticeable shift in us it may not be a total forgiving yet but we are no way and God will do the rest for us if we surrender our control then usually something remarkable will take place the other person will drop his old behavior almost instantly or he will vanish from our life his purpose and his contracts are fulfilled he has woken us up from our own nightmare he no longer is needed at least not in a role as a perpetrator he now can become the loving husband or the loving wife or whatever amazing how everything shifts when we look at situation with the deeper understanding the understanding we had prior our incarnation we knew this would going to happen if you like to explore this further I strongly recommend a wonderful book and website that can guide you further the book is called radical forgiveness by Colin tipping with an easy step-by-step program this is groundbreaking work on Colin tipping's website you will find videos and worksheets to get started now why do so many people find it difficult to forgive another firstly of course our society in our society we are trained to believe in perpetrators and victims and truths there are no victims ever this will be very unsettling for many particularly for those who believe in victimization of whole group of people like nations or religions the problem with a remaining of victim is that we give all our own power away forgiving itself is easy but not the willingness to forgive for instance our identity might be connected to the abuser like everybody knows I hate my evil expose my nasty coworker by horrible parents and if we suddenly forgave them what will others think of us who are we then so we often hold on to the old grudges because our ego loves to keep us unhappy people often hold on to grudges because it helps them to avoid loneliness yes that's true they think about the enemy so if he connected to them it makes them feel less lonely crazy but true Maxwell Maltz points out that we find it difficult to forgive only because we like our sense of condemnation as long as we can condemn another we can feel superior to him by not forgiving we want to hold on to the other as a prisoner but a prison needs a warden and who would that be us of course basically we are now both in prison one as a prisoner and the other one is a warden not forgiving also means that we want to hold on to speed down the speed of change the speed of development you see when we forgive something amazing happens life begins to move more rapidly because we are suddenly free again and that can be very scary for some not wanting to forgive is like taking poison and hoping someone else is going to die forgiveness is not something that we give to another we give it to ourselves we are the ones who need to be freed not the other person we have to forgive ourselves for not having seen the other person as a perfect expression of love just like you and me we have to forgive ourselves for not for having temporarily being blinded by our fearful ego that only identifies with our body's needs and status in truth or forgiveness is always self forgiveness now I know this is a lot to think about it it's contrary to what the world and our religion teaches but listen to your heart and see if this makes sense to you now the roots are slightly different when we have wronged somebody let's imagine here somebody whom we have heard we have stolen from we've cheated we have lied to whatever it's done something horrible naturally we cannot assume that this person we have heard knows about the underlying perfection of everything he most likely will be very upset and angry with us and we have to go to him and ask him for forgiveness and offer to make amends for as long as we are not forgiven by the other person we are spirit ly bound to that soul sometimes for many many lifetimes but forgiveness and making amends set us free wow this is a lot I like to conclude with a quote by Gandhi the week never forgive forgiveness is three attribute of the strong