Peter Crone: Finding Freedom from a Father's Story — With Jason

He was brought to foster care at 1 years old with cigarette burns all over his body and part of his ear missing, part of his ear. Wow. The difference that you're making in the face of your own adversity to me is something that really is inspiring. And I want you to really get that about yourself cuz I know even with that face that you just made, maybe it feels >> Hey, my name is Jason. Um, in a nutshell, I'm just kind of like just spreing my own head trying to get something off the ground, thinking maybe I'm not good enough. It's just in a weird weird weird spot. Um, I'm in a wheelchair, so I'm extra special guy, I guess you could say. I don't know. Um, and also I'm actually on my way now. I volunteer at a prison, so I go see the guys here a few days a week. It's my happy place. Anyway, um, thank you. Bye. >> Hi, this is Peter Cronin, and you're listening to another episode of Finding Freedom. Today I had the opportunity and the honor of speaking to a very inspiring man called Jason. Jason is 54 and like anybody who reaches out to be on the show and to talk to me was feeling stuck and somehow limited courtesy of the prisons of our subconscious. Ironically and why I find this story to be incredibly moving is that Jason albeit in a wheelchair and that's part of the story that we discuss. He goes into actual prisons and works with inmates to help them heal from their trauma. the various adversities that they've had to face that many of us maybe don't even understand. But he found such an incredible level of love, of compassion, and of acceptance that he brings to these inmates to the point that he calls it his happy place. And during the course of this conversation, what we discovered and what he learned and you will see the effects of this is that he realized that he himself, like every other human being, was incarcerated in a way that he didn't know. I hope you enjoy this conversation and whether you are somebody who is experienced or know someone behind concrete and bars and prison guards that regardless of where you're at, the default setting of what it is to be human is to be incarcerated at some level in the prisons of our own subconscious and why I created this podcast so that I can hopefully inspire you to find more freedom. Enjoy this conversation. Welcome to finding freedom, my friend. I got to watch your video and for the folks at home listening or watching uh this episode, give us and give them a little insight into you and what is your work with prisons because I'm just really inspired by you know who you are as a human. But >> Oh, thank you. the um you know it's like um I've been doing it for a few years and um u I I don't know why you know one of the guy was saying that it was one of the most moving experiences of his life and I never thought about you know volunteering at a prison but I thought what the hell I'll give it a shot. >> Yeah. You know, it's just so many people that are so many of those guys that are in there, you know, it's one two bad choices, you know, and they're out, you know, and and you know, the guys are always looking for programs. >> Yeah. >> You know, I mean, you know, to try to to better themselves, to change some things. So, I was been going in there for a few years and they have like a really big Toast Masters that the guys do phenomenal there. >> Yeah. And then I saw your pod, right? You know, I kind of, you know, share it with some of the guys and it's like, you think high school's bad, but word passes in prison like that, right? Makes high school look like kindergarten, right? >> And you know, there's so hungry, you know, also what you know, there's just there's such humility and grace and surrender there. >> Yeah. We meet in small groups and um the guys go around and share, >> right? >> And it's just it's just >> it's okay, >> right? I mean, it's just, you know, I mean, you know what it's like to be around people with, you know, just being vulnerable, you know? >> Yeah. No, it's really beautiful. And and it's like, you know, with guys like that, you know, when you see this 75 year old guy crying because he's opening up or finding the truth of something and hugging another guy. I mean, it's just it's kind of it's heavy. >> Yeah. No, I get it. What's your story? Tell us a little bit about Jason. Where where did you you said you grew up in Sacramento? Mom and dad still alive. What was your childhood like? >> My My childhood was good. You know, it's like the funny thing is is that like the biggest rub was me from my dad. >> Okay. >> You know, my mom, the way you explain your dad is like my mom, right? Just love me just fiercely. >> Yeah. >> And and thankfully I had her around for 43 years. >> Um and you know, I grew up and it's like, you know, it's like that typical and that's why I feel kind of like a uh you know, just that approval [ __ ] right? >> Yeah. you know, and it's silly, you know, because it's the fundamentals. >> Yeah. And so what happened with dad? What's the story there? So mom loved loved and adored you. That's great. And that's probably obviously why you have such a beautiful sympathetic, sensitive heart that you want to help these men who are trapped ironically not just behind bars, but behind prisons in their head, right? Like this is obviously what I do in terms of finding freedom. And that's why I think there's such a beautiful correlation here between you going literally behind bars to help men, but as I often point out, people aren't in prison. Most people are walking around the planet thinking they're free, but are actually internally inside of their own brains incarcerated. >> For 100%. >> So, I'd love to hear a couple of stories. One, your relationship with your dad, and then I'm sure everyone listening would love to know like why the wheelchair, what happened? the uh um the relationship with my dad. It was like, you know, he just was one of those guys that never could get his approval, right? Yeah. >> Never was good enough. And finally, it finally it took me until a couple years ago to say, "Dad, you just make me feel like I'm not a good person." >> Uhhuh. >> And I I just had to cut it off. >> Okay. So, you haven't spoken to him for a couple of years. >> No. No. And that's where, you know, I thought it'd be interesting talking with you like, you know, it's like um what's that saying? You know, when um when you have bad your nose is over your mouth, but when you have bad breath, you're the last one that notices. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Right. Cuz you know, like like you know, this is right in front of me, but I'm not seeing it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's an expression where we can see the log in someone else's. Uh no, so we can see the speck in someone else's eye, but we can't see the log in our own. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Well, then well then help us. Let me let me, you know, um, Mr. Cruz once said, "Help me help you." Right? So, what is it that you feel? You're smart. You see these guys, you go into prison, you're making a difference. Dad didn't acknowledge he wasn't a terrible guy, but he wasn't there. So, what is it that Jason struggles with? Like, if you could wave a magic wand, where do you think, you know, you're stuck or where you could find some relief? um to create more financial independence so I could do other things with those guys. >> Okay. >> 100%. >> What is it I'm curious when you walk in or you roll in and you see these guys like what is it that you initially feel when you arrive? >> You know, you're probably going to laugh, but I feel love. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's No, I'm not going to laugh. That's why I asked the question because that's my guess, right? There's a real sense of camaraderie and belonging that you feel there >> for sure. >> And what do you think that is? What is it you see in them that you recognize in yourself? >> It's a good question. I don't know. I mean um I don't know. >> Let's talk about your dad because I think you're going to see a connection there. So, you didn't get the approval. I'm guessing he wasn't particularly loving and doing like your mom, but do you remember any certain times where you were feeling particularly dismissed or disciplined? Were you ever abused? Like, you know, whether it be verbally, emotionally, physically, were you hit by your dad? >> No. No. No. >> So, it was more just what he said or how you felt around him? >> Um, yeah. probably the feel thing, you know. I think I'm I'm I'm I'm maybe uh a little more feminine than masculine in the sense of >> I don't know. >> Very sensitive. Yeah, that's okay. Anything come to mind from your childhood whether there was moments with him where you felt shame, guilt, belittled embarrassed? >> You know, not really. Peter, more indifference. >> Okay. >> He was always, you know, he was always on another woman, right? He was a skirchaser. But I think when it comes down to it because the fact is he never could commit his keep his promises. I didn't respect him. >> Got it. And so as a nine-year-old, if that's when you started, you know, they used to separated and maybe his skirt chasing got amplified. How did that leave you feeling as the son? >> I don't know, man. It's like I had such a loving, caring, fierce just mom. >> Yeah. Um and and um you know he was always seen to be out of the picture. >> Yeah. No, I get it. But what does the masculine represent if we look at it right in terms of security which can be synonymous with finances and you said you want financial independence. So you know there's a absence of that masculine quality. You even said maybe you're a little bit more in your feminine which is beautiful. nothing wrong. >> But if you weren't given the role model cuz you said you didn't respect him of that masculine energy, then Jason doesn't have the automatic wherewithal to be that man and develop whatever it is to build your kingdom, to have your financial independence, to have true freedom, right? Which is really ma masculinebased. So, if we're going to start to help you tap into that abundant and that financial energy, there's probably some, you know, quote unquote healing to do around your relationship with the masculine with your dad. So, we'll come back to that. What happened that had you uh end up in a wheelchair? um partly genetics and like um you know I started breaking things like I fractured one hip one year, one hip the other and then what put me in a chair was I fractured my back. The irony of it is I used to do ultras before they were popular. Oh >> okay. So did it just like how did it actually occur when it occurred? Were you doing something? Were you running or it just suddenly gave out? >> It just I I just fell in the house. All three of them happened in the house. >> Oh, okay. And what is the prognosis? Are you always going to be in a chair or is this something that can heal over time? >> I don't know. There is no prognosis really. >> Okay. So, what is it? If you had a a magic wand, you know, what is it Jason wishes for? Aside from just if it's just more money, we can look at that. But, you know, where this whole idea that you're not enough just doesn't it doesn't resonate with me so much because you're in a wheelchair. You got one of the happiest dispositions of anyone I've met. call Peter. >> I mean, I'm just saying it how it is. >> You're You're a sweet man. Thank you. That's kind of you. >> No, you got such a a joy about you. And beyond that, you're making a difference. People who tend to be um caught up in their own woes and feeling sorry for themselves. they're not typically doing anything for anybody else which is one of the greatest for those listening you know is one of the greatest um antidotes to depression or a feeling of apathy is to go and help somebody because it generates a lot of selfworth right so I think that's where in the absence of your father acknowledging you you're not getting a lot of accolades um or reassurance or reverence from your dad you know that could lead to somebody not necessarily feeling feel great about themselves, right? You don't have a lot of selfworth. So, here you find going into these prisons, you're making a difference, which is the antidote, right? Like you're starting to see the value you have in your contribution to other guys, to other human beings. So, for me, you know, from my side right now at least, it looks like, you know, you you're living a pretty abundant life. Okay? You might not have all the dollars in the bank that you want, but spiritually emotionally and psychologically, it just feels like, you know, you're you're pretty fulfilled, >> huh? The um well, I you know, I have a so much to be grateful for. >> Okay. Well, let's hear the list. >> Um this conversation, um you I got I got um I got a lot of mates from decades old, you know. Um, I'm just glad. I mean, you know, um, I'm free of a lot of things and I'm thankful for it, you know, like free of >> drugs, smoking, drinking, you know, meds, porn, gambling, you I I don't I'm just I I occasionally go down the YouTube hole a bit too much but but it's like but then it's like I look at like you know you know and that and that's the rub Peter like going why the hell is it I'm 50 54 years old now right and I'm like going if the one you know it's like you're I can't I don't know how many people I've shared your information with you're so different than anything out there. >> Thank you. >> And and that's where Peter when I was looking at like when I was talking to Malcolm, you know, and it's like, you know, he's been in been in foster care, there's, you know, there's a 100,000 that have been through five placements in the United States. >> Yeah. >> And and and they call it the foster care to prison pipeline of just things conversations I've had with these guys. I've seen it, you know, I started digging. >> Yeah. And it's like 80 to 90% of them they end up there. >> Yeah. And typically because during those sort of that foster care to prison pipeline like they had a lot of abuse, right? It's just, you know, his mitigation specialist who with files with the court said he was he was brought to foster care at one years old with cigarette burnt all over his body and part of his missing. >> Part of his ear missing. >> Part of his ear. >> Wow. >> It's like geez. How about strikes against you? >> Yeah. It just it's devastating, isn't it, to hear that? Like here's a kid one and he's covered in cigarette burns. This is why when I watched Step Inside the Circle, you know, I was I was crying because what I realized and I'd love for you to speak to this to help the listeners understand maybe, you know, just if nothing else through comparison, looking at the lives of the men that you're you're seeing and hearing their stories, maybe if if all that listens from this podcast is the gift that it is to, you know, be free and not be so abused, even though there's a lot of people who are. But when I watched that video, step inside the circle, what occurred to me, and you've probably heard me say this, is they never learned the language of love. Which is ironic that when you step inside of that space, you feel love, right? Which is beautiful, but they weren't taught love as a language, as an experience. They were taught abuse. They were taught harm. So, and I know it moves you so much. So, what what would you say to listeners right now who are, you know, perhaps in the comfort of their own home or even driving around in a $50 to $70,000 car on their way to see a friend for dinner at a restaurant? You know, what what would be your message uh given what you're seeing? not only the literal prison that people are in behind bars and the limitations and the small cells, but hearing these horrible stories like, you know, the one-year-old who's covered in cigarette burns with the part of his ear missing. What what what would you love people to know about what your eyes and heart have seen and felt? >> You know, kind of like what you you you you I like how you say you traffic in freedom, right? Yeah, >> cuz there's guys in there for some kind of trafficking. >> Yeah. >> But it's like the one thing I sense from you, you come at all this with love. >> Yeah. >> And and and and that's where for other people, you know, just have some compassion and love for other people. We have no idea of of of some of the torment some of these individuals have had. I mean, it's just >> Yeah. >> And and and and this is not a a cry party in there. Those guys don't make it. >> No, no, no. They're not feeling sorry for themselves. I get that. >> I just, you know, it's really beautiful to be with you, Jason. I first of all just want to acknowledge that. And I really want to acknowledge who you are as a man who could very readily without anyone judging you say, "You know what? [ __ ] it. I'm in a wheelchair. I got to take care of myself. I've got to try and heal or I'm going to do my own thing." But you've chosen not to be defined by your circumstances. And I think that's probably why you have such a beautiful impact on these men is because you're living example of somebody who's not a victim. You know, and I just want to reflect that to you perhaps in the absence of a father who maybe didn't acknowledge you as you said or didn't see you. I see you and I'm sure everyone listening here can see you and certainly hear you in the size of your heart and the difference that you're making in the face of your own adversity to me is something that really is inspiring. And I want you to really get that about yourself cuz I know even with that face that you just made, maybe it feels a little maybe it feels a little foreign or maybe undeserved or you you're not sure if I'm talking to the same guy. But but I am. I want you to hear it. I want you to see it. I want you to feel it because as you've heard me say many times, you know, people who are in my mastermind program or who have joined my freedom membership, you know, one of the big things that I want everybody to feel is to be seen, heard, and held. And I think what you're recognizing, you know, on mass with these men behind bars is that's three things they never had. They never felt seen, they never felt heard, and they never felt held. And in fact, quite the opposite, right? So for me, you know, I love your response. It's all about love and I appreciate the acknowledgement of that's where you see that I come from and it and it genuinely is where I come from. my invitation to you because obviously this was set up for me to help you but at the same time maybe this is something that as I jokingly said at the beginning I'm not sure if I'm helping you or you're helping me and the rest of the audience but um I want you to consider Jason you have a superpower right and >> what is that >> well just just hear me out I want you to consider the capacity of your ability to love and have compassion It's a superpower. And I want you to take this on as a little exercise and maybe my contribution to you in this conversation today is that even in the absence of a father who we all look to especially as young boys as the role model as a source of security and structure and you know hopefully healthy discipline that we want to get from a father which we could put under the opaces of masculine love right I think there's different forms of love the feminine love is more nurturing ing it's more unconditional, right? Like even if a kid messes up or breaks something, the mother tends to be more embracing and accepting, whereas the father might, you know, be more the disciplinarian, right? And hopefully not too military like in the way that they might discipline a kid who did something quotequote wrong. But you know, I want you to consider, Jason, that one of the reasons you've incarnated and why you attracted a father who perhaps wasn't so present for you is because you wanted to as a soul learn how powerful you are to generate your own source of love. And you found this, you know, vocation and this inspiring way of making a difference by showing up with that form of masculine love. Cuz let's face it, it takes somebody with some big coahones, you know, to go into a prison with guys who've got a litany of, you know, criminal charges and some of the things they've done are pretty heinous. And here you are in a wheelchair. You of all people could feel even more vulnerable. But I just think it shows your tenacity and your depth of character that, as I said earlier, even in the face of your own adversity, you can show up and help somebody else. And I I just really want you to take that on because to me if I were and I guess I am in a certain way coaching you that's the only thing I see missing is you don't quite recognize yourself. You don't quite see who you are. You don't quite own your capacity to make a difference even with your own challenging circumstances. And that is as far as I'm concerned the only missing part. It's not that you're not good enough. Okay, everyone can relate to that. But to me, I just don't think you see how powerful you are. And that's my invitation to you is that even in the face of a father who perhaps wasn't there for you, as you said, he was a skirtchaser. And that might have felt you made you feel less important or not special or not valued or not even wanted or loved, which I have all the compassion in the world for. I want you to consider that in the absence of the love of a father, which is pivotal, you have metamorphosized that and transformed it into your own way of finding love through the masculine in the way you show up for these other men who then reflect it back to you. Does that make sense? >> Yes, it does. I guess like I feel blessed by having just the most absolute wonderful mother. >> Yeah. you know, and and and you know, and it's like and and this one's on me, you know. >> Yeah. There's an expression I use, and I want you to hear this carefully, which is there's a language we use, and there's the language that uses us, >> right? >> So, the language we use, and for everybody listening, is obviously English, you know, and hopefully the majority of people speak it well enough to follow, right? That's the language we're using. But the language that uses us is beneath the surface. It's much more sneaky. It's much more insidious. And it tends to be self-destructive. So when you say you beat the [ __ ] out of yourself, I want you to consider, Jason, you're not doing that. That's automated. That's the language that uses you. And by the sounds of it, most of it was learned through the way that your father spoke to you or the way he treated you. So it lives in the world of something to do with you're not wanted or you're bad, right? There's something like that. And I feel energetically that's why you find so much camaraderie and compassion for these guys behind bars because they're definitely not wanted and they're definitely bad, right? And so you've sort of found your family ironically through, as you said, the energy and frequency of how you actually relate to yourself. This is why you're so compassionate because you can see the same dynamic that exists in you within them. Are you are you tracking when you say the same dynamic, >> the same narratives, right? So, what I work in is these subconscious prisons, right? So, there's Jason, he's 54, he's in a wheelchair, he helps Fritzy, he goes into prisons. This is what you're doing. But there's the prison that everybody lives in. And so even though you're going into this physical prison with concrete and guards and bars, what we're working on here, particularly my purpose in life and finding freedom as a podcast platform and all my masterminds and all of my freedom content is to help people to break free of the prisons of their own mind. >> That's why we're here, my friend. >> 100%. So what I want you to consider is even though you go into a prison and you leave, >> you have always been in the prison between your ears. So in the presence of a father who dismisses you, is chasing other women, who speaks derogatorily to you, who is accusatory, who's critical, who's judgmental. that little boy isn't that different to those guys who've gone from the foster care to prison, you know, funnel, right? Like your way of viewing yourself isn't from the masculine super loving, super flattering, super complimentary. Right? So, I want you to consider the way that you view yourself when you say you beat the [ __ ] out of yourself. It's something in the realm of I'm not wanted. uh I'm bad or I'm powerless. Can you can you see that? Can you at least see how that might have been generated by the way you were raised? If a kid raised if you saw your brother which you did older and he has his own karma to work on whilst he's here and whatever he has but if you saw a kid which you know Malcolm or whomever you've met in prison and you know that they were disregarded. Okay, your dad didn't put cigarettes out on your body but he certainly didn't love and adore you. You know, so can you see that a a child growing up in that environment could well feel dismissed nor wanted? >> Sure. Sure. But I didn't have it nearly as bad as these guys. I mean, >> no, I know that doesn't matter. We can always find someone who had it worse. And that's one of the ways that I think you protect yourself is that you have learned to use others as a form of justification for your own woe. Meaning you can always find someone in prison who's going to have a much more devastating and tragic story than yours. >> I don't have a tragic story. >> Well, that comes back to my first question of like why are you here? Now, I just wanted to remind you to check out some of my life-changing offerings. For my 3 and 1/2 month deep dive with over 30 hours of theory and live coaching, all led directly by me. Please check out my mastermind at peterchrome.com/mastermind. And to join my freedom membership with over 100 hours of pre-recorded programming covering everything from anxiety to relationships, health, financial freedom, as well as recordings of all my live events and Q&As. Please visit peterone.com/freedom. And back to the conversation. >> Do you think the love my mom had for me and the empathy she has for me was shared with those guys? >> Well, that's something that you've learned from your mom. So that's where you have this sort of feminine, nurturing compassionate unconditional love that you're able to bring to these men, which is beautiful. But what I want to find for you ironically and again we can make all sorts of correlations energetically between the way we view ourselves a prison in our mind and our physiology but you know the masculine really represents the spine and especially finances are related with the spine you know like when somebody says grow a grow a spine or they're spineless right >> so again just as a consideration not to like you know make cause and effect but it's a contributing consideration that the energy of a young boy feeling that he's not wanted, that he doesn't have any power, that he's bad, could lead to the masculine feeling a little bit spineless. So that to me is where there could be a fragility in that area of your body, which apparently there was. Right. So what I'm asking you to Yeah. Fascinating. Right. So I see all of these things all the time with people's anatomy and how it correlates to the energy and the vibration that they're living within. >> So with you having go ahead >> do you think something's connected to that problem? >> 100%. From my perspective, yes. I mean, again, for a lot of people listening, they might think that's a bit of a stretch, but you know, if you read any of the books from healers of past, Louise Haye, and you know, these real uh tapped gurus who understand the emotional psychological precursors to disease, right? You've heard me talk about that. Disease, the absence of ease. So, what I think you're actually in the process of doing, which is pretty cool, and I'm not saying that you're going to suddenly get up and walk, but I do believe it's possible, is that you through this work that you're helping others, you're developing the fortitude and the spine of a real man who's making a difference. >> And the one thing that I said earlier, there's a couple of things I want you to consider. So yes, you're going into physical concrete and bars prison, but when you leave, you're still in prison, right? Cuz you're human. Everyone listening right now is in prison in their mind. But where I want you to maybe have a bit of a breakthrough and an epiphany is your dad is in prison. And I'm not telling you that you should be back in touch with him or that you should reconnect. That might be something you choose whenever you're ready if that's something you're inspired to do. But it's easy for you. Look at it. Here you are, a man in a chair who goes in and has nothing but love compassion empathy understanding, and forgiveness for men who've created, you know, and committed heinous crimes, right? And yet you have judgment over a father, your own blood, because of what he's done. Not recognizing, and this is hopefully the part where you, you know, can see something. He's also in prison. It's just a different form of prison. He's stuck in his head. In this case, I don't know what your grandparents were like, but if he's chasing chasing women, the chances are he came from a family where he didn't get the love that your mother gave you and he's still looking for that. That's a form of addiction that he's never going to fulfill on. Okay, he might not be, you know, pushing drugs on the street or, you know, harming people physically that has him end up in prison, but if you were to look at this person, what's what's your dad's actual name? Neils. >> Neil Neils. >> Neils. Correct. >> So there's a human being called Neils with the genetic code that he got from your grandparents, his parents. And he was raised in whatever way he was raised. And his mom and his dad did and said whatever they did and said that led him to be conditioned as a human being who's looking for his own form of freedom. He just thinks it's to be found through other women. He's looking to the external world probably for both a combination of being held and loved and accepted and you know throwing a splash of pleasure that he wants. But really what that shows is the prison that Neils is in is that he's not wanted. He's not loved. He's not happy. So, could Jason just consider as a flip-flop that the men like Malcolm that you're so present for, that you have so much compassion for, who are behind bars, are not so different to Neil's, and yet you judge and cut him out of your life. I'm not saying you supposed to have him in your life, but it would just open up a new level of love and compassion from you that that human being, forget about dad and what he should have done. Mom and dad, those words are so contaminated, right? We have such a expectation of what those humans should have done. >> But when you understand the mechanics of how an identity is formed and how people are conditioned and basically programmed, their behaviors are automatic. They're just reactionary machines. So for you, somebody who I think is actually on the sort of precipice of really finding true freedom for yourself, what might that feel like again without having to reach out? You don't have to text him after we hang up. You don't have to call him or invite him around for Christmas. But what might become available for Jason if you could just see Neil's as another man in prison? How might you start to see him? The way I hear it is I could go with into these his prisons and it's like but then but then my dad I just not you know I just you know like I don't I have I can go capable and open and loving in there but then my dad I shut >> Yep. And I want you to consider what I said earlier. The energy that you are projecting towards him is the energy you felt from him. And at a deeper level, >> so the energy you're projecting towards him, as you just said, you cut him out, you don't have any compassion, you don't want anything to do with him, is the energy that you felt from him. And that's your opportunity in this lifetime, my friend. Again, this all comes to love, as we both agree, right? But here's the irony. You don't heal yourself by cutting Neil's out of your life. You heal yourself by finding the love that he wasn't able to give you. And he's the perfect case study for you to find that. You're like, "Fuck, why did I call this guy That's the real lift. So, it's easy for you to go into a prison, but to find that depth of love for Neils, who was doing the best he can, you have to then overcome the hurt of that little boy who felt discarded by him. >> It's deep, man. >> Is deep, isn't it? >> Yeah. >> Really deep. But you're up for the challenge. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here. You will find a level of power and love and freedom that you didn't even know was possible. You see it as a means of helping these men behind bars, but you saw the big you didn't see the big blind spot, which is your own father, your own family. It's relatively, and I say that word with emphasis, easy for you to go into a prison in front of all of these criminals who most people would be scared of. You can find love and compassion. But isn't it ironic that when it comes to your own father, you can't access that until maybe this moment. And you yourself said to me and the audience, one of the things you said during this conversation is you just never know what someone's been through when you were talking about Malcolm and the cigarette burns. >> I sure did. >> Well, what if you applied the same sense of compassion towards Neil's? >> Interesting. >> Different, huh? Very >> here's the beautiful thing about this, Jason. This isn't about Neil's. This is about you. And I want you to hear what I'm about to say very carefully. It looks like you cut Neil's out of your life, but in fact, you've cut yourself off from a part of you. >> In what way? Because in cutting him out, you're denying your capacity to be powerful and to have love in the face of anything. >> I do that. >> That's powerful though, isn't it? >> True. >> I don't know if you're religious. I don't think you are. I certainly am not. But I like to pull tenants from different religions. And one of my favorite lines whenever I've been in the face of a lot of adversity and I've had a fair share, I always quote the line, "Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do." And so what you are doing unconsciously is holding on to a history and using it as evidence for your own brain to decide why to cut this human being out of your life. which means you're dragging your history around with you, which is a weight to bear on hips and backs and god knows what else. >> Wow. >> Yeah, that's a wow, isn't it? For people who didn't quite hear what you said. And again, I really want you to hear it and for everybody listening to understand, I'm not telling you he should become your best friend or you have him move in or spend Thanksgiving with you. I'm not saying that. >> I get it. >> It's not about Neil's. Neil's Listen, everybody out there right now has got their version of your dad. It might literally be their dad. It could be their mom. It could be their uncle. It could be an older brother. It could be an ex- boss. It could be an ex-lover. What we do is we gather evidence based on history to make somebody wrong. And then we use that evidence to cut them out of our lives, which is actually denying our own completeness, our own capacity to love. So we think that we're the almighty ones having the, you know, godlike decisions as to who we get to let into the kingdom of our own graciousness. And really what we're doing, as you can see, yeah, it's so audacious, isn't it? It's like, who am I to judge another human being without knowing every single ounce of their genetic conditioning, their childhood, their psychological and emotional experiences. That's not for me to do. And I can still have preference, but I'm not going to sit here and make people wrong. I'm not going to cut people out of my life because I think that they're bad people. And again, I'm not having everyone coming over for a pool party in the summer, you know? It's like I have my choice of people I want to actually spend time with. But what I want you to get, Jason, and everyone listening is I'm not going to hold on to that energy because as Shakespeare said, hatred is a curved blade. Meaning, you know, it comes back at you. And I know you don't hate your father, but I'm just using it as an analogy that you, my friend, what I see is a bundle of love. But your love right now is inhibited. It's contaminated. It's limited because it either includes everybody or it doesn't. That's your superpower. And your superpower right now, the kryptonite that is in your superpower is the Neils of the world. And there may even be others, but he's the he's the primary actor in the play that is here to reveal where you're holding yourself back. Could you for a second go to the connections of the fractures of the body connecting with the things with the masculine? >> Sure. Well, from my perspective and as everyone listening this is not medical advice but energetically >> please please thank you. So any joint in our body where people tend to have arthritic issues, inflammatory issues or breaks, joints repa recognize energetically as a connection, right? Where one bone connects to another. And so connections energetically tend to represent our relationships. So the break in the relationships where there is animosity, dysfunction, disharmony. Yeah. So you can see that breath you just took there. That was like a bit of a release of your history. So for me, of course, it's complicated or it's contributed to the fact that you did ultra marathons, right? So again, energetically, physically, that's a lot of stress on the body. But if there's a lack of integrity because at the joints of your body which represent the relationships of your life there is a break. You've literally cut off your connection to your father. Then energetically you've broken that connection. And so for me the masculine you know you can look at this up you ask chat GBT you know like the spine and also your ability. Think about it. What does the masculine energetically represent? Usually the healthy masculine is a stand for something. A masculine that is in its power has a mission. For me, when we break down love, like love, as I said, from the feminine, it's unconditional. It's nurturing. It's all holding. But the love from the masculine is a stand for something. It's the energy of discipline, the energy of commitment to something. Because I used to say, "I'm a lover, not a fighter." And I thought I was so like justified in that statement and dare I say even cool that I'm a lover, not a fighter. I don't fight until I realized that was such a disservice to what love is. Because if you love something truly, you fight for it. And so you got the love part, but you didn't get the fight, which is the masculine, which is the spine, which is to be a stand quite literally for something. Here you are in a wheelchair. And it's not wrong. This is your journey. It's beautiful. But as I said to you in a in a world where I believe in all possibilities, I do not see the future that is not open to the possibility of you being a stand for something. Even if it's not literal, but energetic. >> Sure. >> Which is what you're doing, aren't you? You you know, you want money for what reason? To help these men to be a stand for justice, for being a stand for possibility, for being a stand for love. But if you can find that place within you that you severed that connection, that joint, that con that relationship with your father, then to me that is representative of the healing that then can happen. Whether it's literal in your actual bones and your anatomy or if it's just energetic >> or both. >> Ideally, both. That's what I'm a stand for. That's how powerful we are as human beings albeit unconsciously. And I acknowledge you my friend on how incredibly accepting and you know powerfully the surrender that you have brought to your life and your conditions is really remarkable. >> But in a >> I mean you know >> well this is the caveat in a funny way it's also representative of a little bit of resignation. It's representative meaning that you sometimes when we accept things there's a profound choice about it and it's powerful. Sometimes we accept things because we feel powerless about it. Right? Meaning that's more resignation. Oh well, it's just the way it is. But somebody who's willing to be a stand for something and to get up and fight for what they want, that is the energy of the masculine. That is the energy that garners wealth. That is the financial freedom that I feel you sense is lacking. It's not lacking literally. It's just you haven't accessed that particular vibration within you. That you're a force of nature, my friend. You're going into prisons in a wheelchair touching the hearts and minds of men who've never been seen, heard, or held. Do you get how powerful that is? >> You just live within your own skin, Peter. >> Huh? You just live within your own skin. I don't know. >> Well, I do, but I'm asking you to maybe not live within your own skin, right? I'm asking you to maybe stretch that skin, god forbid, actually break outside of it and start to actually make a difference, not just in the lives of others, but in your own life to not just resign to the fact that that's just the way it is and my dad was a skirchaser and you know there's judgment, however subtle, in that statement. >> That's what he did because he was in a prison. But you know how to walk into a prison and triumph. Question is, are you willing to go inside the bars of your own mind and recognize that there's a little boy in there who's shy, who's hidden, who feels not wanted, who even might think he's bad. And you find camaraderie with these men incarcerated, but can you rescue that little boy? And I'm saying one of the ways to do that is to recognize your greatest teacher at this point in your life is Neil's. You're using him. Listen to this. You're using him as the excuse to not be as loving as you can be. >> I'm using him as an excuse to not be as loving >> as you can be. Because if you were being fully loving, you wouldn't cut Neil's out of your life. I'm not saying, again, I want you to make the distinction. I'm not asking you to include him in your life. The energy is stuck in you. He's just doing whatever he's doing. I guarantee you, he's heartbroken. You're his son. He can't not be connected. I guarantee you he feels sad. That's why he chases women, hopefully wanting to find someone who does accept him. His own son won't. Imagine what that feels like. But it's up to me to It's that energy. I just That is just absolutely bananas. You talk about my spine in my hands, >> isn't it? >> Bananas. >> Yeah. But you as an intuitive being who's smart, you can see the correlation right? >> 100%. >> Yeah. >> 100%. I mean, >> yeah. Fascinating, >> isn't it? Fascinating. >> I, my friend, am just really grateful that you showed up here and you wanted to have this conversation and I am going to make a stand for something that not only do I see it being possible that you can find an another level of your capacity to love, which is already phenomenal. I've acknowledged that plenty in this conversation. But I just want you to understand there's another tier to your capacity to love that you have denied which is in the same camp. It's in the same frequency of your ability to earn, your ability to stand, literally your ability to heal. They're all commensurate, right? They're all connected. It's that part of you that you've cut off. And you might say, because a lot of people typically this is their response to this work is, well, how do I do that? I don't think you need to know the how. I think you're so tapped into feeling that you can start to find it. The number of wows you've said today, you know, that's going to be sufficient for you to explore this. But this is my promise to you to represent the masculine in the best way I know in this moment, in this conversation, is that you have my word that I'm going to come into a prison with you one day. and I'm going to stand by your side and we're going to meet Malcolm or whomever else you want me to meet and we're going to have a conversation and we're going to help them see how powerful they are even in the face of being behind bars so that they could equally for themselves find a new sense of freedom and possibility for what their future could look like. Is that a deal? >> Yes, sir. So, I don't know when that's going to happen, but my promise is, you know, I've got a lot going on, but at least within the next six months, you know, worst case scenario eight, I will find you. We will come together and I will walk into a prison with you. And by that stage, your homework is to tap into even deeper level of love, which includes Jason and dare I say includes Neil's because energetically you can trans sort of fur and emit as much love as you have to give to that man without even having to reach out. Do you see that? >> 100%. >> 100%. >> And he will actually feel it whether he speaks to you or not either. Maybe he suddenly meets a woman and that's where he feels at peace. Or maybe he just stops chasing. I don't know where he's at. It doesn't matter. >> But this is your journey, my friend. And you as a being in this incarnation have come here clearly to learn to experience the feeling of powerlessness and the feeling of being disregarded and dismissed and not wanted so that you could access the antithesis of that which is to be completely and utterly filled with love. And you're super close. And I hope that today helped nudge you to take that tank from half 3/4 full to full. >> Thank you. >> You're welcome. Thank you for the work you do. Thank you for being here with me. And I'm excited to come and meet some of these beautiful beings who never got the opportunity to learn the language of language of love. And I'm confident between the two of us, we're going to make them fluent. Yes sir. >> Well, you got a little bit of homework to do, which is to open the forceter to love, remove all the boundaries, the judgments, the wrong making, which is you reconciling your history and letting go of whatever you've been through. I don't condone it. At least it wasn't terrible, as you said. You weren't abused physically, but I get that it still hurt. And this is your invitation to completely reconcile and let go of your history. Step into the beautiful being that you are. and tap into that endless bounty of vitality and capacity to share and give and love which is your birthright. >> Thank you. Thank you, Peter. I'm guessing the quiet is a little bit maybe speechless or >> No, I just I really um really appreciate the the you know the thoughts, the words, the pictures you put you you you've just opened up in my thought frame and the energy is just beautiful and and um and I mean with your work obvious Obviously, if you see it be done with other people a lot and it's like to feel it oneself is a whole different thing, >> isn't it? >> And and and and and thank you for >> you know just you know it's like what what's that you know the easiest person to fool is the one who doesn't think they could be fooled >> or it's like what am I what what am I what was I >> what am I not seeing right? Yeah, >> you know, we all can learn more and it's right in front of me. So, thank you. And it's like I mean, thank you. I mean, >> you're welcome. Thank you for everything that you do and for all that you're going to do that is infinitely more powerful. Not to in any way dismiss the incredible work you've done, but as you step into this new realm, this new world with even more freedom. And what I see in you more than anything right now is a newfound sense of peace. Right? It's you've let go of energetically the part of you that you didn't even know you were carrying which was the weight which is also bearing on the joints. Right? >> So you get to be an even brighter light in these places that arguably are filled with darkness. Yeah. >> Thank you. And I feel very fortunate to be part of that and to contribute to you. You've touched the lives of many people today courtesy of this conversation who are carrying their own judgments, their own burdens, their own criticisms, their own wrong. And again, that's not to say that anyone out there listening to this should also, you know, suddenly invite whoever has harmed them or hurt them in their past into their lives. is just to recognize that the hate and I know that's a strong word but the judgment and the harm is within us. It's not over there with them. And I invite you, as you have clearly seen today, Jason, beautifully, and everyone listening, to let go of that and be free. And dare I say, courtesy of the title of this podcast, finding freedom.