Peter Crone: Working Through Financial Anxiety

You're acting like this individual guy who's trying to save the whole planet, but by himself. Yeah. But what I want you to consider, which is such a leap for you, is that your life is curated, orchestrated precisely for what you need. So you can just lighten up and relax. You can't [ __ ] it up. Homework is don't do anything. Yeah. In 2010, I unfortunately saw one of my close friends jump off a cliff in front of me to end his life. For a while, I blame myself just thinking if I could have stopped that from happening. But the big problem that is happening in my life is finances. You know, I'm really struggling to get into that abundance state and really increase the wealth in my life. I've been watching so much of your stuff, so I I understand as well that that's the surface level, but of course um and I know that's available to me when some of the other stuff maybe blind spots or whatever is cleared up, but that is the area that I would like some assistance with. For sure. What would you say is one of your blind spots or one of your barriers to what you're calling abundance? Yes. So why I've got this insane like internal like desire to change to to improve my life and I have in many regards but I feel like I'm pushing one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake and I I procrastinate a lot. I avoid things a lot and I go through cycles of intense motivation and doing work. For example, with business and content, I might make videos every day for three months and then I'll just completely disconnect and I don't want to do anything. I just I kind of go through these cycles of a lot of energy and then I I just want to just chill out and like watch football or you know and then it kind of comes around again and I just feel like I keep repeating these cycles you know there's only only so many courses and books and different things you can take on marketing and practical stuff. There comes a time where like I need to look at myself like maybe there's a different problem here. So, um, and I definitely, you know, I've got just stuff from childhood and, you know, seeing one of my close friends commit suicide definitely was a turning point in my life. So, yeah, I remember that from your video. I'm sorry you went through that. Um, okay. Well, there's no lack of intelligence here, right? So, you're not um struggling there and it's sort of making that connection between conscious awareness and physical embodiment. So, what would you say from your past that you're aware of? Obviously, we can talk about your friend who took his life at some point, but let's go back further. What were some of the patterns, habits that you developed, do you think from, you know, being young and whatever you saw growing up or what have you heard as well? Yeah. So, when I was a kid, um, I'm the middle one. I've got two brothers. Um, and I mean, I I admit I was a I was a big mommy's boy when I was a kid. I was very attached to my mom and you know I even remember my first day in school I can have the image in my mind of looking out the window when my mom took me to school and I'm just balling my eyes out and there was this there was this really strong attachment to my mom and my dad was very absent. He spent a lot of the time in the pub and I remember him coming home late. Um, we would be sat down on the TV watching uh, sorry, sat down on on the sofa watching TV together as a family and I'd always have that kind of fear or uncertainty of how my dad was going to be when he came in or how much he'd had to drink. There was never any like physical violence or anything like that, but I remember feeling that uncertainty. Um, and I I really didn't like that feeling. So, those are some of the main things I can think of. Um, I haven't seen or spoken to my dad in probably 15 years. Um but I don't at least like I don't feel anything towards that like I I I wish him well now and I don't have any regrets about my childhood but maybe the sub subconscious stuff there but one thing I would say is I said to my friend when he passed not to my friend but I said to myself I'm going to make the most of my life and live your life as well and because I was there when it happened and I I felt like you know I couldn't stop this um and at the same time for my mom as well. I just I've had this desire like I really want to make enough money so that I can uh basically give my mom an amazing retirement. She's in her 70s now and I just feel like maybe it's just too much pressure on myself, you know, too much weight to carry and then my own dreams as well. So I think that's like an overview. Um yeah. Are you um in a relationship now? Romantic relationship. Yes, I am. Um just uh three years. Three years. Yeah. And it's it's been the best and healthiest relationship I've had. So I'm really grateful for that. Yeah. Amazing. Amazing. Okay. So with your friend was this this was back home in Cornwall when you're on the cliff somewhere. Correct. Yeah. And this was a friend from growing up from school from both. Yeah. So I we met a bit later on. So he was in um he was a few years younger than me and we were kind of college university time. You know, back then I was I was just a youngster in England having fun on the weekends, drinking a lot, partying. Had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Um, probably not really happy to be honest, but just going, you know, going along as most youngsters do, trying to find their way in the world. Yeah. How old were you at the time? So, I was 22. So, it was uh 2010, I think it was now. Yeah. Okay. Um, and so I'm from a really beautiful place in Cornwall, like a in a in a fishing village. There's beautiful clifftops, fields, ocean, you know. Um, and they had this party there. It was like an event in a in a marquee and I was walking along with a friend and I saw I saw my friend, his name is Matt. He was sort of fighting some guy. He was on his back and I was a little bit drunk. So I kind of found it at first I thought he was kind of comical, amusing, but then he basically got kicked out by the security and I could see he was upset and I think he'd recently broken up with his girlfriend. I knew he wasn't like in the best headsp space, but I didn't really know much more than that. Um, and then my instinct was I I've got to go out after him to make sure he's okay. And there was another guy that did as well. And then he turned around and saw us and then he started running. So, I started running, bearing in mind, you know, I'd had a few ciders or something. Um, um, he he was, you know, pretty determined. He went through some brambled bushes, got to the edge of a cliff, and I'm kind of stumbling over. I'm trying to be careful. I don't want to fall off myself. He just like, don't come any closer. Um, and my memory was the other was the other guy there, too, or was it just you? Yeah, he was he was slightly over the shoulder. Um, yeah. So, he must have seen a similar thing. Yeah. Um, and we had we were back and forth a little bit and he was, you know, balling his eyes out and I I was telling him, you know, it's okay. Like, come down. Everything's going to be all right. Let's let's talk. I can't remember the exact conversation at the time, to be honest. And my headsp space at that time, like I I had no idea what was going to happen. You know, I really didn't think that was a possibility. And he just basically shared his last message with me and said, "Paul, I love you. It's not your fault. Tell my friends and family it's not their fault. I can't go on anymore. And then it was it was like being it's so hard to describe. I just looked into into the air and he wasn't there. And I and I was it's like I time froze and I just felt like did this is this real? It it was almost like a movie. It's really hard to explain. Yeah. Um, and then the next thing I know, I'm on my phone, you know, calling 999 and um, yeah, he he he did survive the fall, but no no expectancy of life, you know, he severe head injuries and yeah, they basically waited the next day for his dad to arrive from up uh, up north somewhere in England and then they turned off the life support and uh, yeah, that was that was a really challenging thing to experience. No, I'm sorry you had to see that and witness that. And I can as best as possible be there with you obviously not actually literally but energetically and what that must have felt like especially for someone as sensitive as you and um I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Um did you have any support after that? Did you speak to a therapist? Did you get together with the other friend there with you and talk it through? I mean I had lots of friends and firstly thank you. I appreciate that and I acknowledge you for listening and and thank you for listening to me. Um I I had friends around me and you know we had a big friend group which was good and some of the positives if you can take positives from that were that it brought a lot of people together. Um but with regards to therapy I didn't um a lot of people said to me at the time you you know you should probably go and speak to someone. Um, and I remember thinking at the time, this must be my way of I I said to myself, I must just be really like strong in my mind or something. Um, and clearly I must have been just probably suppressing a lot of it. Um, but and it there was, you know, there was an ongoing thing for a while. We had to go to court a few years later and just, you know, eventually they didn't put it down to suicide. um he did jump but because he was under the influence and in a you know they they think that maybe he might not have made that decision but anyway um I didn't speak to anyone um and so I think that's been at the back of my mind a little bit just with where I'm at now like just more out of curiosity wondering oh maybe there's something that I bottled up then which I I'm unaware of now because I pushed it down but um even at the funeral. Um, I I couldn't cry in front of people and I had that that feeling in my throat, you know, that heaviness and then when I was on my own, I would I would cry. But I think that's just part of the the message that a lot of men get when we're younger, like, you know, it's don't cry in front of people or something. So, yeah. And um, so yeah, I never spoke to anyone about that. Um well I spoke to a lot of friends about it and you know sure at the time going out drinking and just talking through it and stuff but I didn't have like professional help with it. No. Okay. So if you were to look at it now in hindsight um you know 15 years later what would you say was one of the one or two of the key takeaways? Either good nor bad you know it doesn't really matter. But what how did that sort of mold or shape the way that you view yourself and life? I know you said to a certain degree you've put pressure on yourself. You want to live a double life to include Matt as well, but yeah. What what what would you say looking back that you took from that experience? I remember like I mean for this thing I feel quite proud of it because I feel like I could have gone down a really different path and um someone introduced me to the book the secret of the time which I know gets a lot of you know bad stick from uh some of things but actually that really helped me at the time and then it opened my eyes up to you know different teachers Abraham Hicks or Bob Proctor and I you know I I went down the path of self-improvement And in a short space of time, I was my mind was like, I'm I'm gonna change my life now. And and it was like a shift I had. So that was definitely a powerful thing for me. Um I think also it it revealed to me how short and precious life is. It just the constant thoughts around, wow, he was here and now he's not here. I'm never going to see him again in in this physical lifetime, you know. Yeah. So it's really a reminder of how like precious life is the feeling of not wanting to waste time and that stuff. Yeah. Beautiful. And yet you know being honest with yourself as you mentioned that you can occasionally procrastinate like the best of us and all humans. So can you see maybe that when you have this sense of life is precious and it's so short and fragile and then at the same time you occasionally procrastinate, do you occasionally beat yourself up for that or put some pressure on yourself? I mean, it happens quite a lot to be honest. Um, yeah, I get it. Yeah, that's why I just wanted to bring it up. Okay, so there's a couple of things that come to mind as you've obviously heard from whatever the courses you've done in freedom or podcasts I've been on, I sort of look at these subconscious prisons, right? So you've alluded to a couple of them based on what you can ascertain from your own childhood, but what would you say uh one or two of the primal prisons that you know might be holding you back that would definitely influence uh finances and abundance? I think I one I mean I I don't I know you I think you said you had like 10 prisons and I don't know if I've uh heard them all and maybe that's for the book which I'll look forward to. Yeah. But um I think um one of them there's definitely some of the not enoughness there on a deep level. I think there's something along the lines of it's my fault. Yes. Yeah. the like that. I think that's definitely true, especially when I blamed myself when it happened, which is pretty ridiculous because it's it's not my fault, but that was kind of the the message I was. Um and then I think another thing which I didn't mention um which could potentially be related to you know transitioning into the next phase of business and stuff is I with the avoidance like I really conflict is a big thing for me. So like the idea of a customer or client being dissatisfied or someone wanting to argue like I I hate that feeling. And so um there might be something in that sense as well. Um yeah, but I do I think like the it's my fault thing rings rings true or like I've done something wrong or like if I do something I could do something wrong so maybe I should just stay silent or or not do too much. Um may maybe there's something else there, but that's that's probably just my own reflection of what I would anticipate. Yeah. very very astute, you know, and again where I just recognize your intelligence which would actually ironically make you or not so ironically a good coach and the stuff that you want to perhaps transition into from your personal training. So I would say yes in that bed fellows of it's my f --- hich is a present state, right? So I'm not successful. So it's going to be in future language. Okay. So you're trying to avoid something. If you're trying to avoid something, it's cuz you feel that you're not what? I'm not capable. Yeah, that's part of it for sure. That's how it leaves you feeling. But that's present, right? If I'm not capable when, well, I'm not capable now. But in language, I'm not going because it's future based. Yeah. So, I'm not I'm not going to be successful. I'm not going to achieve my goals. Yeah. Perfect. It's in that realm, right? So, feel that. So, think about that. This isn't a conscious thought. Your conscious thought is I want to help people. I want to make a difference. I want to take care of my mom. I want to take care of my girlfriend. I want to leave a legacy for Matt. But the way that you relate to life is that I'm not going to be successful. I'm not. So, what's the point? Do you see? So that's the tugofwar where that's what you you want to do something, but the way that you relate to your future is it's not going to happen anyway. So it all starts to become completely futile. Which is why you could feel apathetic and lethargic and avoidant. It's interesting because I feel like I've done so much like you know work on and self maybe too much. Sometimes you can do too much. But like I I genuinely believe like so much is possible like for but but maybe even that thought is more of a general thought than to my own experience. So you you got to understand the difference between your intellect and your conscious understanding of life and listening to my stuff pure possibility. First is your body and your subconscious which is stagnant and it doesn't want to move forward because of fear and apathy cuz well it's not going to work anyway. I'm not going to be successful. So the way that I phrase it in terms of one of these prisons is that you're not going to be okay. [Music] It's a little bit more of a catch all, right? It's not so much around the arena of success or finance, but just generally Paul's not going to be okay. because that's that little boy's experience. It's not logical. It's just he's scared. And so what he's saying is, I don't know how my dad's going to come home and that means that my survival is at stake, which is I'm not going to be okay. Whatever happens, it's not that you're going to die, but it's not like, oh, I'm going to be awesome and everything's going to be amazing. That's not the way you're relating to the future. Yeah. Do you see? You would have a different way of moving through life with a different sense of motivation and self discipline which would be excited about where you're going versus this more sort of apathetic lethargic and heavy way of trying to like walk through molasses or maple syrup or quick sand where you're like ah yeah I'm I want to get there but energetically the way you're relating to the future is it's not desirable so why the hell would I move forward. Can you see that? So, I want you to really understand these two worlds, right? It's up to you, which is filled with and littered with a massive amount of potential guilt and shame and failure combined with you're not going to be okay anyway. So, can you start to feel in your body where that's what creates all of that density and that gravity both energetically psychologically and emotionally? Maybe this is like, you know, go back to my friend and when I was unable to express emotion, I feel like I I sometimes struggle with the the feeling of what you're sharing now. Yeah. Yeah. That's okay. That's okay. But you could obviously earlier you sense the heaviness, the weight of that like it's all up to you. Yeah. I felt I could feel that. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the weight of it's up to you. And then you can feel the avoidant energy which is the term you've used as it relates to a future that's not desirable where you're not going to be okay. Right. You can feel that. Yeah. So you think about it. You've got the weight of thinking it's all entirely up to you with the potential guilt and shame of being a failure and not fulfilling combined with the avoidant energy which is really the reflection the reaction to a future that you're scared of. What if I don't make it, become successful, make enough money, take care of my mom, whatever. That that combination is a death sentence. Yeah. Even in the face of all of your will and your aspiration and your inspiration and all the beautiful intentions you have, you know, it's it's it's going to fall short because the biggest weight, the sort of the the mass of the iceberg under the water is the heaviness and the feeling of guilt and shame and dysfunctional responsibility combined with the anticipation of an unfulfilled future. Right. So, let's go. So, let's go through the exercises. So, you know, if I were to cut Paul open, am I going to find a physical manufacturing label inside of you that says Paul born in England, born in I don't know if you're born in Cornwall, but born in England? You know, it's all up to him. Am I going to find that physical manufacturing label inside of you? No, I'm not. Right. Okay. So, it's not part of your hardware. If someone knew how to read DNA, part of your physical sort of DNA and chromosomes in a cell, they could explain your eye colors and your body type. So, this isn't part of that. So, where does the I'm not going to be okay live? Where does that because it is part of your reality? Yeah, I'm not going to be okay. Where is that? Where are we going to find that? I think in my chest. Okay, that's where the sensation is located, which makes sense, right? because that's where there's the life force of how you breathe, right? Like, you know, so there's a heaviness which tends to suffocate us a bit. So, I'm not going to, you know, it's up to me is going to feel, as you said, weighty, right? So, if you're wearing a lot of weight on your body, you wouldn't be able to breathe so easily, which is the absence of expansion, you know, inspiration to be able to inspire, which is also receiving. So in the world of it's all up to me there is that constraint. So that's where it feels. But where is the language? It's all up to me. Where does that live? Where the words live? Uh in my head. Yeah. In your head. Right. I want you to consider that in your head points to where you've become misidentified with your p personality or your ego or your identity, whatever word. So that it's the pool that you are for yourself. You don't walk around saying it's all up to me. It's just it's so up to you that that's just how you live. Yeah. Right. It's not even a belief. It's just the way life is. It Well, duh. It's all up to me. So when you look through that lens of it's all up to me as though it is you, we get the world of heaviness and apathy and a sense of potential failure and the overall sort of gravity of well it could be your fault if you [ __ ] it up. Right? So if it's in your head and I'm going to say more accurately it's in the space that is your mind and it's made up of words. It's up to me. Like it's literally sound, right? So if it's just words and it's just in your mind, is it a truth that who Paul is is that it's up to you? Is is that really who you are? No, it's not. It's not, is it? No. So I want you to consider it's the way that you relate to yourself and hence life. It's not you. It's a very deeply entrenched program that you've become misidentified with. Yes. So, just off the top of your head, if it's all up to you, what doesn't that what what does that not allow for? It does. I mean, I would say the first word is is kind of your work freedom. Yeah. Definitely doesn't allow for freedom, right? Cuz whether you realize it or not, 24/7 you're constantly working because it's all up to you. Even if you're sleeping, your brain is working trying to figure stuff out. What? Perfect. So, it doesn't allow for freedom. What else does it not allow for? If it's all up to you, the whole of your life is up to you. What does that not allow for? Life itself. Yeah. Only life itself, right? Not a big deal. You're only denying life itself. So in this case, denying life itself, what does that represent? Possibility. Yeah. Think about it this way energetically. If it's all up to you, which way is the flow? It there's a lot of resistance there. It's it's it's uh I'm I'm going against the grain or I'm going against you know fine upstream. Totally. Because if it's up to you, it's all from me out. Yeah. Right. It's all It's all up It's from Paul out. It's up to me. So what now if you look at it that way visually, what does that deny? Denies me to receive things. Bingo. Yeah. And really get that. This is why it was so hard for you to see this because you've lived for 30 plus years in the absence of receiving. Yeah. But really get that, mate, because this is a massive blind spot. Yes. You're you're acting like a silo, like this individual guy who's trying to [ __ ] save the whole planet, but by himself. Yeah. It's insanity. Even as you're saying that, I have a voice in my head saying, "But it is up to me, isn't it?" Well, of course, it's been there for 3 [ __ ] five years. You know, right? Yeah. So, that it's going to it's not going to want to go away. This is the biggest um obstacle of real freedom is transcending a voice that has defined you for so long. I hope you're enjoying this conversation and even moved by it. And perhaps part of you would love to learn more, to go deeper and really understand the mechanics of the mind, whether it's to help yourself or others you care about. What would it mean to you to be able to break free from the subconscious limitations that hold you back and help others to do the same? If that's something you'd love to be able to do and to discover with it a new world of freedom and possibility, then I invite you to check out my mastermind with over 30 hours of theory and coaching led by me personally. It's my most powerful and life-changing offering. You can find out more information at peterone.commastermind. Okay, and back to the conversation. The it's up to me. Um, also for me means like I'm I'm responsible for like doing taking the actions to change results in my life. That's kind of how I see it as well. But obviously from how you're showing it, I think it's much deeper than that. So much deeper. So yes, I'm not denying that as individuals it's incumbent upon us to have thoughts, feelings, and actions that then lead to some sort of result. Yeah. But are you separate from the whole of life? No. No. Okay. How did you meet your girlfriend? I I love how I met my girlfriend because I was uh getting frustrated on the dating apps for so long and then uh actually one of your I think one of your mastermind students is a RTT therapist. So I did a session with her and then uh we we met organically about a month or so later and the funny thing is I didn't change anything I guess just something had shifted in my perspective or my energy um but there was no no different techniques or anything you know where did you meet a grocery store? A party a friend's house like so we have Thanksgiving which has just been this this weekend actually and then we met three years ago at a friend's giving. Okay. So she was a friend of the friend that you went to too, correct? Yeah. And you didn't know her before that? No. Okay. So now just look at that. So was it up to you to make that happen? No, that was just life happening for me. Oh, okay. Yeah. There you go. Oops. Yeah. So do you see? So when you look through the lens of it's up to you, it's amazing that even something like that happen because even as much as we hold on to the prisons and our constraints and our limitations, life isn't going to let us stay there. So it gave you one example at least and there's probably going to be others that you can recall when you start to feel into this, but you have shut down, not through your own conscious choice. It's not your fault, but you've shut down the energy of receiving, which I could also call contribution. Yeah, it will, if you really look at it, it will be very difficult for Paul to receive compliments. It will be very difficult for you to receive opportunities. It will be very difficult for you to receive just cash out of nowhere because it's all up to you. Can you see the conflict between you saying you want to have abundance, but it's all up to you? Yet life, let's put it this way, the whole universe, which is last count 18 plus b billion light years wide, pretty big, you know, with everything that's out there. Is that more abundant or is Paul more abundant, the universe? But it's all up to you. Do you see how asinine it is? Yeah. You're swimming in abundance. that is constantly I assert trying to contribute to you in ways that you can't calculate like this Thanksgiving where this girl that ends up being someone you love and is your girlfriend shows up out of nowhere is life contributing to you because you're in a space for whatever reason at that moment you become so disenchanted with the dating apps which is Paul got out of his own way for a minute gave up because he was the one trying to make it work and in your giving up you actually opened and life was able to contribute to you for a Second, do you see that? Yeah. Yeah. So to go to go back to my question, one of the things that you are denying is life contributing to you and life is abundance. You told me in your video and at the beginning of this conversation, you know, you want to be financially more successful. You want abundance. Yeah. But I want you to be responsible for not fault, but powerfully understand the way you relate to life is it's all up to you. So life around you everywhere you go 24/7 is abundance trying to give to you. But the way you relate to it is no. No, it's all up to me. Don't worry about me. I'll take care of it. So then you wonder why you're not abundant. Yeah. Abundance is knocking on your door energetically, but for you, unless it's something that you do, you don't see it. Yeah, that's I think that's it. I feel like I, you know, I feel like I'm always working. Even when I'm not working, my mind is thinking about how to do something else. Which is exactly what I just said about 10 minutes ago that even when you're sleeping, your brain will be working on how to figure [ __ ] out. Yeah. But that's the world where you think it's all up to you. Where just through my first example, how did you meet your girlfriend? Prove to you it can't be up to you c --- ot at all. So, where does it live? In the mind. Yeah. And what is it made up of? Just words. Vibration. Yeah. Literally just words. Blah blah blah. Yeah. And when you look through that lens, we know that you have avoidant energy. You feel scared. You're worried. You procrastinate. And you really don't move forward with things in life even though you're trying. Great. So, it's just words in your mind. It's just sound. I'm not going to be okay. So, is it an absolute truth that who you are is that you're not going to be okay? No. It's not. And right out of the gate, where's the evidence that we know it's not true? Cuz I am okay. Cuz you're there. Yeah. Cuz you're right in front of us, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, it's a pathetic lie. Not only is it a lie, but it's a terrible one. But it does a great job of creating your anxiety, your fear, your being scared, and hence being avoidant. So the combination of the two, one cuts you off from life and then the other prevents you from pursuing life. So then you wonder why you're living in a nonabundant universe. And your main concern, rightly so, was finances. Yeah. So is it true that you're not going to be okay? No. No. Okay. So in the absence of that fear, and again, this is a world that you're not familiar with that I'm introducing you to. So, it takes a little bit of a leap and a bit of imagination. What if Paul could not relate to life like he's not going to be okay? Literally impossible. As it relates to the future, you had no fear, no avoidant energy, no concern for your own survival. How might you feel in the way that you go about life? Relaxed. Yeah, there you go. That was a nice Yeah, relaxed. And uh like I don't need to be rushing. I don't need to be anywhere. I don't need to do anything like specific. I'm It's It's all good. Yeah. Taken care of. Isn't that cool? Yeah. So, not only is it taken care of, which is more the present experience cuz it's not up to you. And by the way, in the absence of it's up to you, it can't be your fault, right? That helps get rid of the guilt and the shame and the pressure. Do you see the correlation of those two? Yeah. And then if it's you're not going to not be okay because it's a double negative, right? You lived past tense in the I'm not going to be okay. What I'm telling you is you're not not going to be okay. So it dissolves it. It's gone. Oh [ __ ] I can relax. I don't have to keep looking out for worst case scenarios. Yeah. So not only does it allow you to soften, which is a receiving energy. So things from the future now can start to align. They literally are aligning based on your shift energetically with new possibilities you can't possibly imagine. just like meeting your girlfriend 3 years ago at a Thanksgiving dinner because you're out of the way now. So life is like, "Oh, okay. If you're not worried about all of these worst case pending doomfilled futures, we'll remove those and we'll bring you something that's way more inspiring and contributo, right? So you can just relax and receive. And by the way, if there's nothing to worry about, when you are motivated or you are inspired, your action becomes way more powerful moving forward cuz you're now just on the accelerator when it's appropriate, not on the break at the same time. It kind of makes me think of that this idea of create create from a place of inspiration rather than from desperation. Yeah. Massive distinction from love of life versus fear of life. And you've been living a very desperate life. It's desperate to think it's all up to you. And it's desperate for for sure to think that you're not going to be okay. Totally different human being just through the eradication and the dissolution of these two lies that have been defining you for 30 plus years. So do you do you sense a shift from our conversation? Subtle. You know, there's a lot of you you you you have lived in this space for so long and there's a real attachment to it. It's going to take you a minute, you know, based on your makeup because part of it's up to you means that you now think it's up to you to figure this all out too. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And also, the fear that you're not going to be okay buys into the fear that you're not going to get this right. So, they're both going to be lingering in the background. Right. So, it's going to take a minute for you to really [ __ ] relax, get over yourself, and as I said earlier, pull your head out of your ass and realize, "Oh, I I am the only thing in the way of complete abundance, which is ever present around me." So, it's going to take some practice. We start with awareness and then we move into practice. And the practice is going to be like, I don't know if you're at home with your girlfriend, but you go and tell her whatever like you share whatever comes to mind of like, "Honey, you're not going to believe this. you know, I have forever thought it's all up to me. Like, I think it's up to me to take care of you. I think it's up to me to make sure that I have enough money so you don't have to work. And she will probably say something like, "Well, yeah, I know that's what you do all the time cuz they always see it." And I've also been so scared that things aren't going to work out, which creates a massive amount of pressure, which is why I procrastinate and I have avoidant energy. Be like, "Yeah, no, I know that about you. That's why you're always anxious." Yeah. So sharing with her and whomever is appropriate will help you to reinforce your own new reality. And then you have to update and say you know what I am so open to life just [ __ ] taking care of details for me. I am so open to life contributing to me out of nowhere. I am not going to live in a place of fear where my future is filled with worst case scenarios. I my future is phenomenal. That's what's going to inspire me. Right? You start to create a new way of relating to who provides abundance and what your future looks like and you literally literally will be a different human being. Now are you going to slip back to the old way of thinking? Of course. You know you got just over an hour of me talking to you of which maybe 30 40 minutes was the the revealing part compared to as I said 35 six seven years of you know you thinking life is a certain way. Yeah. So, if it's not up to you, because it's not, which opens up receptivity, contribution, and abundance, and you're not not going to be okay, meaning there's nothing to fear. How could you be in the world? How could how could Paul feel as he walks around? Well, I could feel, as I as I shared, relaxed. I could feel free. Um, I could spread my wings a bit. Um, yeah, I feel like I would be of better service to the people in my life, to myself, to my clients. Um, 100%. And those that I love. Yeah. I just Yeah, I think that that's kind of what what comes up for me. Great. So, now you get to practice that, right? Because even your anatomy is so trained to be a little tense, to be a little tight because it's up to you. That creates pressure and you're not going to be okay. That creates defense. Both of which energetically anatomically create resistance. Yeah. So, one of the things for you, particularly if you're in the world of fitness, it will be good, is to shake it all out. like you know whatever that looks like whether it's a boxing class, you go for a run, you do some sprints, you do some crazy workout, hit training, it doesn't really matter to to to loosen your body, right? To soften because your psychology has seeped into every cell of your body to create resistance and tension. Yeah. Can you see that? Yeah. Which is why when you said, "Wow, I can feel like I can breathe easier." Great. We got a semblance. We got a we got a reflection of the softness coming in. You would feel more relaxed. you know, you let out a couple of big exhales. These are all the anatomical reflection of your mind starting to soften, which is what I want to see. If you want to accelerate that process or at least continue it and progress it, then you you got to keep softening your body and realize, holy [ __ ] I'm in an abundant universe that is constantly trying to contribute to me. The only thing that's ever got in the way of that is the way that I related to myself and life, and that was a lie. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, books and massages as well and that kind of stuff. Yeah, massages. Drink lots of water. Flush out all of these old toxins that are associated with constraint. And more than anything, lighten up. Yeah. Yeah. You've been through some heavy stuff. I get it. And for that, I have compassion. Whether it be with your dad, I get how scary that is. Especially when you've got competition with brothers either side of you. or the middle child combined with whatever you had to witness with Matt that makes life feel so scary, fragile, and precious, which again you used as evidence to put more pressure on yourself. And as hard as this is to hear, whatever Matt went through was precisely what he went through. That was what his soul decided it needed. There's nothing you could have done. There's nothing anyone else could have done. That's exactly the way he drew up his life. So even there, you can find some softness and forgive yourself for what you think you might have done or should have done. It's all it's completely erroneous. Life is unfolding precisely the way it's meant to for everyone, including this conversation I'm having with you, my friend. So, you don't even have to have guilt or shame about the way you've been living. It's totally fine. But now, now with the new awareness, you have the opportunity to lighten up, to relax, to breathe, and to be open to life contributing to you. And that is abundance. Yeah, I I feel that. How do I get the the piece right between action and allowing though? Cuz obviously I do need to take some action. You know, I can't just Well, we don't know that. Let's let's let's let's just consider you don't have to take action. There is some action. Sure, you had to go to the Thanksgiving party to meet her, but did you who knows if you'd run into her 3 days later in a grocery store by accident, you know? Okay. Well, then I had to go to the grocery store. Yeah, you could fill in the hadto's for everything. But what I want you to consider, which is such a leap for you, is that your life is curated, orchestrated precisely for what you need. So you can just lighten up and relax. You can't [ __ ] it up. And feel feel in your body. What would that be like if there's literally nothing that you can do to [ __ ] it up or to avoid all of the goodness that is on the way to you? I know that's so foreign to your nervous system, but that's the inquiry for you to look at. How would I feel knowing that everything that is destined for me is on the way. My only task is to be present and to allow it and to follow my instincts of what feels good in the moment of whether it's I go to bed early, I go to a party, I go to this meeting, I go to the gym, like just just let life orchestrate the details for you. So yes, taking action, but taking action that feels in alignment with your highest good and then trusting and allowing life to contribute the rest. That is such a foreign world for you. I know and it's going to take some practice. But if you have I feel like I feel like that message is more in my head at the minute and maybe it takes some work to integrate into the feeling of it. Of course. Yeah, it's going to take a while to sink in below your neck, but you've had enough moments where you pointed to your chest with the relief that you could breathe easier. You've had some big exhales. Your shoulders did drop. Your body did feel more relaxed. So, it is there. It's just your body is going to reference your mind and your mind is want to go back to what you've known. So, that's the practice is to keep letting go of the old conditioning and the old programming by realizing it's just not true. It's just not true that it's up to you. Do you play your part? Yes. But it's not all up to you. Are you not going to be okay? No. That's just not true. How do we know that? You're there. I can see you. Right. Yeah. So to start to live in the truth of we don't know what's going to happen. But stop filling the I don't know with worst case scenarios. Got it. Okay. That's a different world, isn't it? Yeah, definitely. I I recently went away for like 3 weeks and I think that experience of just not focusing on goals and work and whatever else was it felt so good. I just felt like I needed it which is kind of I think what how you were saying just to be living every day anyway. Yes. And then you don't need to go away because you're living in an abundant vacation type world which is called life itself. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. So, you've already got an example of that recently of what that felt like to just let go of the control, to let go of the fear, to let go of the need to make things happen. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's going to take it's going to take some uh some practice, but I'm uh I'm definitely on board with this and I really appreciate you helping me uh see some of those blind spots and shift some stuff around. Yeah, you're welcome, mate. And again it is but you know you don't know how long and you don't know how hard right so just even that you just want to keep letting go of not knowing right you didn't know that this was going to be the conversation we had you had maybe some sort of semblance of hope or thought that I might be able to point out a blind spot but you didn't know this is what was going to happen right exactly and you know I was in bed last night struggling to sleep because I was excited and worried about this conversation I was like What? Yeah. Just the fear of the unknown. Um Yeah. Yeah. Which isn't the fear of the unknown. It's the fear of your part, which is you're not going to be okay. Like you might not get what you want from Peter Cone. It might not work out. What if he doesn't help me? All of that's the fear. Yeah. This was more the unknown, which is that I pointed out something you couldn't see. Yeah. That's the good part. So again, there's more evidence. So when you stop trying to figure it all out and let life show you something you can't anticipate, it works out. You see? Yeah. You become way too smart to figure [ __ ] out. Yeah. You know, this is one of my quotes for you that will make sense. I say, "Being smart doesn't make you any happier. It just makes your reasons why you're not way more convincing." Neither. Do you get that? Yeah. Stup --- 'll I'll succumb to at this point, you know. I think everything else in terms of people's woes and fears and limitations, I think, can be transcended. But, you know, gravity, that's that's pretty stubborn. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Well, Paul, I don't know if I don't know if you had anything else to ask or to share, but I I love I mean, look, you've got a big heart. You're obviously super smart. I I can feel the shift in your energy in terms of the relaxation, not trying to control everything. Uh it sounds like you without being there as a fly on the wall of your life. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to guess that you might have had a little bit more joy, a little bit more relaxation in your life since we've spoken, maybe um a lot less stress and tension. And as you said, force. Um, I love that distinction. Just for the listeners, one of the things that I do with all of my professional athletes, um, I ask them to say the following statement. I ask them to say, "I am forceful." So they say, "I'm forceful." And then I ask them, "How does that feel in your body?" And invariably, you know, the majority of responses are in the in the realm of um, it feels tight. I feel tension. It feels like I'm trying to make something happen. I'm pushing. And that that's of course you know the experience I want them to have. So that's I would say is that Paul prior to our conversation was very forceful right? It comes from a place really of fear and scarcity and lack and separation which drives the inclination to try and want to control things. Everyone can relate to that. But then I ask my athletes to say I am powerful. And what does that feel like? So they say I am powerful. And they immediately you it's almost like their posture changes. They sit up a little bit. They're like, "I feel calm. I feel confident. I feel no matter what happens, I can handle it. Um that I am held by a greater force of some kind. That I, you know, I can influence life in a way that isn't dominating, that isn't, you know, abusive, that isn't uh trying to get my own way. um but rather I feel like I am truly making a difference and I have the power to um consciously create the life that I want. And so I feel for you and just to help you with that distinction, you're going from a very forceful perspective to one that is more powerful where yes, you still have your aspirations and your goals, which is amazing, but there's a degree of surrender, which I know can sound counterintuitive, but actually it's not where we let go. You know, I'm again using a religious expression where we let go and let God, right? So kind of we get out of the way, let the universe do its part. um where yes, we have a certain degree of maybe steering like a boat on a river or surfing on a wave. The energy, the real force is life and we do the best we can to navigate that um by steering consciously in the direction that we want to go. Yeah, that was beautifully put. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. So, that's what I see for you, my friend. You know, you you've obviously got beautiful aspirations and and I I love that. And um and I really appreciate the kind words at the beginning. It's uh never lost on me how um how many people want to have these kind of conversations who hopefully listening in right now who want to you know spend time with me whether it's you know over a relaxing fruit type beverage or on a podcast and and just sort of chip away at some of their constraints and suffering. And uh that's certainly my commitment here as you know as part of my work to help people transcend the constraints with which they arrive so that they also can find some more freedom. So thank you for the kind words. Thank you for your contribution to this podcast where people get to listen to your story. And I'm sure there's millions of people who can relate to where you were and as a byproduct of your vulnerability and your courage. Hopefully, there's also millions now who have relaxed and they can lean into just the power of being present and understanding that their life is taken care of in ways that they don't fully understand. And that can give them a greater sense of trust. So, um it's just just great to have conversations like this with people like you, my friend. Yeah, absolutely. No, I appreciate it. Peter, I I think the the a question that comes to me uh kind of on that really is thinking of other people uh and even myself maybe a little bit. But, you know, the the awareness was the first piece which we spoke about last time and I've been kind of reflecting on some of that. I think the challenge for many people including myself is in the world we live in where you know with social media the different things on the news and everything um is what do you may maybe I'm doing the right things now from what I've shared with you but what would be you know like going to the gym you want to go three times a week four times a week whatever consistently to build up your body what would be what would be the energetic work to be doing Um, is it just following what feels good in the moment? Is it to do some kind of mental, you know, visualization or meditation? I'm just curious like what's your kind of top recommendation for people when you're looking at the bills that you've got to pay or, you know, you're late for work or whatever it might be that's happening in the world, right? Just what's like a mental kind of um practice you you would recommend? That that's really the only question I have for you. It's a great question, my friend. Um, and I really appreciate your dedication to, you know, wanting to, um, embody this, um, integrate it and and live from this energy because it is, um, it's super fulfilling. You know, I feel like I'm one of the most blessed men alive just by virtue of the fact that I get to understand these distinctions and practice them very readily. Yeah. And effortlessly. So, yeah, just akin to, as you said, going to the gym, taking care of your body, then you want to take care of your mind. So, let's look at the basics, right? what are what are some of the ways you can take care of your mind? You know, there are the anatomical u practices which is good sleep, you know, good food that is for cognitive health. Obviously, avoiding toxicity um especially, you know, in the food that we eat are unfortunately a lot of these GMO foods and stuff that's covered in glyphosates. So, you want to take care of your brain, right? So, that's just on the practical side. Then as a practice in terms of like learning to really embody these principles of freedom, you know, love, possibility, they're sort of the three main pillars of my work. Um it might seem counterintuitive, but you want to discover where you're not free, right? Because if you can find out where you're not free, then there's an access to some freedom on the other side of that. So whatever's in the way is going to be founded in some sort of limitation narrative which will have the energy of predominantly fear about it. So wherever we feel like um inhibited or thwarted in terms of expressing oursel is an opportunity to find freedom. So that's actually a practice is okay if the commitment like this podcast of finding freedom is to discover that for ourselves then the irony is we want to find out where we're not free. So for Paul, you know, wherever that might be, right? If it even saying you were talking to me, you were nervous, you were sweating a lot. That's not bad. That's human. But where else might you feel that? Is it in a public presentation? You know, when people do uh speaking engagements in front of a company, what would make Paul a little bit nervous? Would it be to run your own workshop for a weekend where you're kind of challenging yourself a little bit? Uh so that's a practice in terms of freedom. Um, but also in the way that you express yourself, excuse me, in front of say your girlfriend or her parents or your, you know, somebody you admire, you know, where you might feel, as we can all do as humans, a feeling of inadequacy. There's another opportunity to express yourself, um, un, you know, uninhibited. Um, then love, you know, where where can you practice love? You know, where can we find that? Most people obviously tend to do the opposite. They tend to be in fear. They're in fight or flight to some degree. So that might manifest as, you know, screaming at someone in traffic because they cut you off. Or it might be making your partner wrong or disregarding somebody's uh messages that they've sent you. Uh ghosting people, gaslighting people, you know, these are the antithesis of love, right? So where could you practice being more loving? So that would be the second thing to look at. Where is there someone in your life right now who perhaps did hurt you or upset you and rather than cleaning it up and you know just letting them know but giving them the opportunity to apologize. You know a lesser mind tends to want to make somebody wrong so that they can be right. You know it's sort of one of the predominant imperatives of the ego is we want to be right. That's self-righteousness of the ego. So where can you practice more love would be another area to look at. And then lastly, the energy of possibility is you know for me it's so replete with joy when you really get that this domain that we live in as human beings is itself possibility. So when we don't feel that, we're uh typically misidentified with our own shortcomings, our own limitations, failures from our history that make us feel that we can't do something right. Like I another quote of mine, I say, you know, when other people tell you your dreams aren't possible, have sympathy. It's their own limitations they're exposing, not yours. Right? So does that make sense? So you know those three I would say, you know, where are you not free? Great. there's an opportunity to find more freedom. It could be as mundane as, okay, you have a partner, but if some guy out there or some girl right now is, you know, kind of keen on someone or you're at a bar or you're a grocery store or you're yoga class and you see someone you're attracted to, but you're scared to go up to them for whatever your fear might be of embarrassment, rejection, or looking like a fool, that's an opportunity to overcome that, right? So, practice that. Find where you're not free. Go out there and practice freedom. Um, secondly, you know, as I said, be increasingly more loving. Where are you holding account of things people have done to, you know, hurt you and making them wrong? That's childish. And again, I'm obviously not inviting people to stay in abusive situations or communicate with people who are very hostile or harmful. No, this is only when relationships are important to you that uh are you being really loving or are you being a little self-righteous? And then possibility is where can you continue to recognize that this moment right now whoever is listening literally at this moment this moment in time has never happened before in the entire history of humanity. And for that reason it is like littered with nothing but the energy of possibility. The question is to what degree do we drag our past into this new moment and that then muddies the waters of possibility where we become resigned or cynical to the fact that something's not going to work for us. So they would be the three things I'd practice my friend. Where can you find more freedom? Where can you find more love? And where can you live from the energy that I would assert is your birthright which is the energy of pure possibility. That's awesome. Thanks so much for sharing that, Peter. Yeah. Hopefully that's a pretty comprehensive response. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good six 12 month lifetime program of uh work to do there. So yeah well they you know they came through me with my work and helping people transcend their constraints. I realized that every time so for you, you know, thinking that it's all up to you, it's a prison, right? It's a limitation. And when you break through and come to the other side of that, then you discover freedom from it, right? And when you're in a place where, oh [ __ ] it's not up to me. It's not all my responsibility. Then you could have a newfound love for life. And simultaneously, you see a new way of living, which is possibility. Right? So the three qualities always arise simultaneously when somebody overcomes some sort of previous constraint. So when you understand that it's a really beautiful way to relate to life and particularly to time, you know. Yeah, absolutely. No, I appreciate that. Thanks a lot for showing Peter. You're welcome, mate. Well, listen, this was just a followup to check in. It's great to be with you again. Um, I really appreciate, you know, the opportunity that I get to meet and work with human beings like yourself. We, you know, didn't know each other from a hole in the ground or at least I didn't know you. You'd obviously listen to some of my stuff for a few years, but, you know, it's just really an honor for me to be with another human being on the planet. um to hold space for you and for you to contribute to the audience in a way that millions and millions of people will be able to relate to your same, you know, maybe not quite the identical situation, but very similar enough for them to realize um that they have a very similar form of limitation that now is no longer necessary and as a result um here we all are finding freedom. So, thank you my friend. Yeah, of course. I'm always happy as a coach and in the fitness industry and all that, like helping other people anyway. So, if this, you know, being not being the guinea pig, but being uh I guess being the guinea pig, but benefiting myself and others, then that's great. So, yeah. Awesome. Well, Paul, a pleasure. I hope we'll get to connect maybe in life one day down the road. And um hopefully my work will continue to contribute and inspire you to uh live from this place of freedom, love, and possibility. and to um yeah, continue to lean into that energy of true trust in life uh whilst simultaneously obviously co-creating the things that you aspire to see in the world. And I know the difference you make out there and and you know, thank you for what you do to help people on all levels. And I know this energy of internal peace and a lot more um sense of freedom is what the world needs more than anything. So take that out there and and pass it on. Of course. Absolutely. It would be my pleasure.