Simon from Milton Keynes, six months into the non-dual material after coming out of strict physicalism, names a remaining dark question: am I identifying with something eternal that will nonetheless disappear when this finite mind dies? Spira distinguishes the temporary configuration from what remains.
Transcript
Hia. Um, my name is Simon. I'm from Milton Kees. Hello. >> Um, I think it's kind of linking back to Miguel's uh question and and um about reincarnation. >> So, um, first of all, thank you. Uh, literally six months ago um I watched a podcast with yourself and uh, Bernard and something just clicked. Um, I was always very much a physicist, but I didn't even know what physicalist meant. Um, and it's just changed my life in quite some sub substantial ways. Um, but I've got a few questions as you can imagine with only being six months in. Um, and it's going to sound a little bit dark this, but um, I I need to ask it. So, um, actually, as I was driving here, um, I almost turned back. I'm almost like think I was almost worried about what am I going to find here? And the real worry if I can I think I can articulate it is that whilst I I I totally and utterly get um the meaning of uh that we're a finite mind within a in within an infinite mind and that has that has changed my life basically that understanding but I still have this quite a dark thought um and to do with I suppose it's our finite mind's death And um I worry that we are identifying um with something that's eternal. Um but I worry that say we're on our deathbed or death is is is very rapidly approaching. I still feel deeply that there could be this sessation of I I guess awareness or brain awareness or physical awareness I've although I understand what what you're saying and I really truly feel it because it's changed me I still have this deep down worry that's coming from my finite mind that was arguing with me in the car saying, "Are you sure you want to go into that place, Simon?" Because [gasps] because it's I think the best way to describe it is the the infinite or awareness seems very impersonal and cold and almost meaningless from the perspect from from my finite mind's perspective. And I just wondered if you had any help with where I'm kind of currently at in my thinking. [snorts] Well, S, you're right that consciousness is impersonal in the sense that it it's not generated by and not um doesn't share the limitations of your body or your mind. [clears throat] So in that sense it's not it's not limited to the person like the space in this room is not generated by the four walls of this room. It doesn't belong to this room. It doesn't belong to the walls or the people in that sense. The the space is not limited to the room. So you're right that what you essentially are pure consciousness is not limited to what you seem to be as a person your body and your mind but at the same time it is intimate. Normally we feel that what is most intimate to us is most personal to us. Your most intimate thoughts and feelings are your most personal thoughts and feelings. So you usually we conflate the personal with intimacy. But consciousness is even more intimate than our most intimate thoughts and feelings. Even our most intimate thoughts and feelings are they're not always with us. They they come and go. Um but but consciousness is the the your essential irreducible self. It it's it's not personal but it but it is intimate and it's actually it's it's the it's the self aspect of the personal self. So it's not that the personal self disappears. It's that sorry it's not that the temporary finite personal self disappears. It's that its temporary finite personal qualities subside and what is left is is that the the true self that that the self that the personal self really is. So it's it's really the core of you as an apparently personal self. It it's actually what you love about yourself. You love yourself. You you may not like your thoughts all the time. You may not may not like your your your your haircut or your you may not like aspects about yourself, but you love yourself and that's why you want yourself to be happy. You always want to be happy. The reason why you always want to be happy is because you love yourself. So you actually love yourself and you're nervous that the self that you love will disappear in this understanding. No, no, no, no. The self that you love, the self that you love is not your thoughts. You don't always love your thoughts. You don't always love your body. You don't always love your memories. You don't always love your relationships. But you do always want yourself. Always without exception, you wish yourself happiness because always without exception, you love yourself. And that self that you love is not going to disappear. It it it's it's going to get stronger. So I like the analogy of a whirlpool and the river, but that whirlpool does disappear. Yes, the the whirlpool disappears on that. That's the the death of the body. >> The whirlpool um dispands in into the river again, but the the stuff that the whirlpool is made of doesn't disappear. It's just reconfigured. It it loses the wa is is a temporary configuration of the water. So it's a temporary name and form of the water. It loses its name and form. But the water remains. >> So the stuff out of which the all all there is to the world. Nothing actually disappears. It's just a temporary configuration of the water subsides. So what there's no you don't have to fear disappearance just a temporary configuration of yourself which you now experience in the form of thoughts and perceptions will subside but you will will remain as you are [clears throat] >> okay lots more questions but I'll I'll leave it there >> one a day yes [laughter] lovely thank