The One Thing Holding Her Back

so I'd love some support on my business okay because I feel a lot of impostor syndrome okay and I'm noticing that a lot of my feeling of inadequacy is getting in the way of the work that I'm here to do okay so I work with clients in the healing space and I feel like no matter how many times that they tell me they had a transformative experience or they feel like they had a great session I'm constantly beating myself up telling myself that I don't know enough or I need to learn more yeah and I feel like it's just getting in the way of the work that I want to do I beat myself up over it because I am a coach I feel like I should be able to work through this okay because she's a coach she thinks that she should work through this so what is the underlying energy of that because right now with that energy you're a complete impostor you started the whole thing you got this imposter and you want me to help with your business is how you started right and your concern is you you've got this impostor feeling even though your clients are getting good results but here you are with a self reflective ability where you're trying to overcome the feeling that there's something wrong with you right what I want you to consider is because you're trying to overcome something that is what human so here you are a human helping humans trying not to be human you get how [ __ ] up that is it's one of my other quotes I say one of the hardest parts about being human is being human and one of the qualities of being human is trying not to be human so you're ride on track but you're being an impostor so what we want to go a little deeper is why why are you playing that game where did you learn that being you was not enough yeah definitely in my childhood for sure who more than anyone I mean both parents but definitely a lot from Dad and what were some of the things you heard well one time and I mean and it's hard because again I go back to this piece of I've done so much work on this here it is yeah but why have you done so much work cuz I still feel like there's something wrong yeah yeah doesn't it make sense if you think there's something wrong with you and that's like a survival Instinct that you have to do work to try and overcome that which is reinforcing what that there's something wrong with me yeah what if I told you the only thing that's wrong with you is that you think there's something wrong with you okay so what did dad say well one of the things I remember is him telling me that I was going to grow up and be a loser like my mom and my sister okay that's some super strong affirmations right yeah um so say it again that he told me I'm going to grow up and be a loser like my mom and my sister but I feel like no no no no no butt no butt no butt no butt there's no butt in that statement the butt is the work that you keep doing what age do you remember remember hearing that first off maybe like 11 yeah and how often did you hear it after that I mean I heard it replaying in my own head over and over yeah what's it like to walk around that who you are is you're going to grow up to become a loser like your mom and your sister it feels awful yeah what did that little girl do to compensate and know tried to do what she could to not be a loser yeah it's natural right like all a child what did I say at the beginning we all just want love and acceptance right and here's a gorgeous little 11-year-old I don't care who you are but an 11 especially as a little girl there's so much preciousness in that being and just reading your energy and how committed you are and the fact that you're here and that you're the first to ask a question and you want to help your clients like you're just riddled with the fact that you care and you want to do a good job much of which has been exacerbated because of this fear that you're going to be a loser right so it's like you sort of it's imperative at this point right that you get beyond that because it actually hurts so much at the deepest level that you're this precious bundle of love like every everything is an act of Love or the search for it you have no interest in me helping you with your business what you're looking for is love of self and you find Love Of self your business will 10x do you see that so walking around in a world where who you are relative to other is you're a loser and that's the future you're also stepping into because the way he phrased it is you're going to become so it's like it's one thing for a parent to say to a child you're you're an idiot like that's present tense right but there may be a glimpse of hope that they could get out of that if I work really hard I become a good boy and I become a perfectionist and then I might escape the the this Destiny of scorn that my father gave me but you know it's sort of like doesn't matter what you do you're going to become a loser like your mom and your sister so it becomes like absolutely futile because it doesn't matter what you do your prison sentence is not only how you feel now but it's also something that you're perpetually trying to avoid do you see that yeah it's extraordinary that you look as healthy as you are and that you have by the sounds of it a really nice impact on people cuz somebody who has this particular sentence like there's different ways we can be maladaptive or adaptive in the way that we respond or react to our constraints so someone who's not good enough might become the perfectionist people please will work hard get the corner office get the house in the suburbs and I'm going to I'm going to disprove my [ __ ] father I'm going to make him wrong but someone who's also not good enough was like what's the point I might as well just hang out with this gang and do drugs and end up on the streets and when I first told people that the person in the corner office versus the person on the streets of coming from the same narrative they're like that's just crazy but it's how we respond to it and so for Trisha here to be like in this whole world of I'm going to no matter what I do be a loser like my mom and my sister can you see that's like a life sentence and this is why I talk about these prisons and you've all got them and some of you right now I've seen a few tears just walking around like this one's a little close to the Bone for you because you have very similar one right and then we can see that the adaptation of a human being CU we so desperately want to survive it's all about survival then what she has to do is not be a loser and do everything she can to avoid being a loser so her intentions are really you know logical but sadly the language from a father has stopped and now it's it's in it's in the machine the virus has taken hold you know the danger that was once without becomes the Enemy Within so you start to see the world you've lived in mhm you happy to share how old you are right now yeah yeah 39 39 right so here we got a story that's 28 years old think about that and this is why like I had the most beautiful conversation with this woman from Holland in my Mastermind on Saturday who's a single mom of two and she has migraines and so she wanted me to help her out with her migraines and understand and her version of she's going to be a loser was that it's all up to her it's all up to her right you can imagine it's like like many of you here are single parents they like well of course it is she's a single parent like what the [ __ ] is he talking about right but that was from a very young age and it's all up to her and so when it comes to particularly for her the cycle and now she's got even more pressure right because she's not feeling great and but she still has to cook and provide and do laundry and da da D and play games so she was constantly in a state of pressure and when she saw that the the statan it's all up to her as a subconscious constraint it's not a truth it feels that way I have compassion for it I understand it it's just not a truth and when you can distinguish between something that's a reality almost three decades huh I'm a loser I'm going to be a loser it's pretty convincing to her it's not even convincing as a belief it's just who she is and there a the very subtle distinction between what I say the you that you are for yourself versus a a limiting belief a limiting belief at least is something you're aware of she's just being somebody who's trying not to be a loser like it's driving every part of her thinking acting and results so when this woman really got like holy [ __ ] that's just not true that it's all up to me it feels that way at times and I don't but she does have support or she could you know just even if it's Universal support like you know pray to Jesus or sweet baby Jesus or something right it's not all up to you right she said holy [ __ ] I said how would that feel like if it's not all up to you and she's like I don't even know and she articulated it so well cuz I'm working with people and when they see it that it's not a truth you're not good enough that you're not a loser that you're not not save I'm like I'm introducing you to a world that you're not familiar with and it really is that and she said but it's so kind of scary but exciting because I feel like I've got this whole other place to explore outside of the prison of what was previously completely defining her does that make sense so we start to get the world of here's this beautiful woman with all the best intentions what she's here to do it's sort of philanthropic she's got this she wants to make a difference but she's literally in a prison energetically emotionally and psychologically which then Cascades into her physiology I'm sure it impacts our relationships yet it's all based on a fundamental lie so what are you getting from what I just shared that I'm not actually a loser say it a little louder for people I'm not actually a loser yeah and what does that say about your future I'm not going to become a loser I mean just try it on I mean I don't I don't want to [ __ ] ruin your whole miserable life and give you a life of joy and I'm not going to become a loser no and how do we know that because I've never been one to begin with what does that feel like to say it feels like I'm like meeting my real self for the first time yeah don't resist it and you thought you wanted to improve your business I would been such a disservice if I tried to help you improve your business there's people lining up right now to work with you that don't even know you exist they're going to come across this woman because for whatever reasons in a post in a story in an interview in a podcast they'll go there's something about this girl she's so at peace with herself I want that she would have attracted the perfectionists of people pleases for short the type A's right because that would have resonated with her not trying to be human do you now get why you were an impostor because I was trying not to be human I mean that's probably a pretty big reason isn't it yeah I I just want you all to get whether you're coaches teachers parents lovers all anybody wants is to really be gotten to really be seen heard and held how well can you see hold he be with someone if you're Mo your agenda for yourself is I'm trying to be perfect and not be human yeah I can't it's amazing you've had a career you have talent you have gift and your intentions are pure but like really really get like when you're in a prison and think about it literally if someone's in a prison and their commitment is like you know if someone right now called us from San Quenton you know and it's like they're in the cell number 58 and it's like can you help me with my business it's like what are you doing selling cigarettes like how like you're in prison right but it's the same like it's like you got to understand if you're in a prison in here Your Capacity to access true potential is literally limited it's not fictitious it's literal so she has a business but it it it Pals in comparison to the world that her whole physiology is already stepping into she you know it's going to take a minute just with like Ryan Michelle like it takes a minute to integrate she's not so old like not that I mean like for any of you are above 39 but you know no offense but the older we get the more like convincing our stories become it becomes a little bit more stubborn right and so at least for her there's a there's a there's a there's a spirit there's a freedom about her that I feel like it's going to be pretty [ __ ] instantaneous like she like my only kind of counsel to her is like get ready get ready because this isn't about improving business she she literally just open a portal to an entirely new world that she previously didn't know exist outside of the constraint of thinking she's a loser can you see that she's walking through life energetically like this trying to avoid becoming the very energy she keeps perpetuating the same woman that I spoke to in my Mastermind she's got migraines and other health issues she wanted me to help her with when she realized she's living in a world of it's all up to her which is a survival strategy because she had to take care of her parents when she was young the dad was a drunk and D so as a young girl she was charged not with the story she's a loser but with the charge of the the responsibility of taking care of her parents can you imagine the weight of that and then she wondered why she had health issues and she's like oh my God I just realized the means by which I try to survive meaning she takes it all on the means by which she's trying to survive is what's killing her you do you get how mad that is she really got it she's like holy [ __ ] the mechanism I'm using to try and survive is what's killing me she's trying to enhance her business by using a mechanism that makes her unattainable unrelatable inauthentic and especially in the realm of coaching you know if there's one thing that I pride myself on is like you anyone who's listened to me on a podcast or something my master mind you know I'm the first to lose it talk about my story I am far from perfect so now in the world of you're not a loser you've never been a loser you can't actually be a loser how might you feel I feel more confident that's usually a good precursor to a better business I feel more loving of myself and accepting yeah again one of my quotes they say please never become perfect you'll have no one to relate to you now have a lot of people to relate to and I promise you as it relates to coaching in any kind of council that is the platform upon which you get to make the biggest impact what could you now see possible stepping out of and it's literally a stepping out of the constraint that you're a loser and that you're going to be a loser how might you relate to your dad differently being more accepting of him yeah so he like any of you and I'm not in any way condoning because I don't know all of your stories whatever you went through that was probably you know for some of you very traumatic and I don't want to dismiss that meaning you know if some of you were hit or really abused but I really want you to consider in the Arc of your journey of what it is to be human in this incar Incarnation then in ways you may not be consciously aware of you did attract and curate the events of your life because you're here to transcend something so this was not a conscious part of her but nonetheless her father serves as the teacher for her Soul's Evolution does that make sense without getting too heady meaning if it weren't for the Catalyst of you're going to become a loser like your mom and your sister she doesn't go on the heroine's Journey of trying to overcome that only to realize oh I'm the one that took that on you know again one of my quotes I say other people's words will only hurt you to the degree that you already believe them do you get that now as a kid of course you don't have the discernment to be able to say oh no that's just Dad having a bad day of course I'm not a loser I'm a Divine being who's Timeless boundless and Limitless unless you're an indigo child but you so for the most part you know you take it on like you know that's it mom said that Dad said that and it's a truth and then as soon as you adopted the truth as though that's who you are that's when you start your journey of self-preservation and survival where you literally abandon yourself when I said to her how would that feel she said I feel like I'm coming back to myself and that's her Journey full completion and now she gets to go to a different oscillation of what is it like for her to live outside of the constraints of she has the propensity and the likelihood of being a loser but do you not feel like already like can you see even like as an inuitive like as a woman can you see that you just changed the future timeline that you were otherwise on can you see that right because your your future was probable it's predictable right like human behavior if you look at anything the stock markets and people like doing whatever just the way you think your your spouse is going to react you've got some evidence and it's sort of predictable you know if you did X you're going to get the whatever reaction you're accustomed to so on that timeline you have a probable and predictable future so hers would have been what you know sign up for the next course do another Workshop you know work harder meditate Matt meditation is wrong do another meditation right pay more for the other meditation teacher you know just to keep working on there's something wrong with her okay so real talk though I was just about to sign up for a program like how much was the program going to be like almost 12K 12K I'll take six um saved you six grand that's you're welcome so there was ego self that was coming through and soul self that was coming through because ego self really was like oh this program is going to help forward your business and soul self kept saying no I kept hearing the message you don't need this you don't need this and then I was just like just go to Peter grow and see what happens I mean literally sign up for my Mastermind you'll save seven and I promise you I'll I'll make sure that you realize how ordinary and and there's something wrong with you and you'll be like I feel amazing yeah yeah well good you're welcome so can you feel it it's different right yeah I feel more just permission to be myself yeah like her whole breathing pan changes she's no longer destined for this loser future she comes into a place of Freedom which then gives her a sense of peace and ease and so her physiology instantaneously changes and I see it every single time have a minute it doesn't matter who I work with I literally see their breathing pattern change immediately that they get something healing happens instantaneously when you step out of prison think about it literally the rele Le that somebody has when they're beyond the cage beyond the bars but you all have your own version that's what's available for you when you get outside of the constraints of your subconscious it seems like Miracle work and it is relative to the norm but when you really get it it's physics and that's the beauty of this this is why I feel like the luckiest guy alive because to me it's so Crystal Clear I can hear the stories like screaming at me from the subconscious and my role is just to help reveal it so she gets it I could already tell with the way she spoke and she even thinks it's incumbent upon her to heal people and the work she's up to you can feel the pressure and it's like okay now I can see that she's playing in a world where she's trying to become something she's trying to prove something that immediately tells me that she doesn't accept herself at all that immediately tells me why her business is not working because why are people going to see her more than anything everyone wants to feel self- accepted mental health that people talk about every day the number one Elixir antidote for mental health is self-love but her self-love was wrapped up in self-improvement than got you you're like [ __ ] I'm doing the same thing it's one of my literally my favorite sayings she was becoming the best version of her limited self everybody's doing that and that's human it's okay but I'm so so happy that I get to completely bust open your limited itself and then it becomes this like infinite exploration of true potential so forget about improving her business how about just accessing true peace accessing true Vitality stepping into true abundance when now not when she finishes a 12K program that wouldn't have worked right would have given her more information to work on and again I know it's a little dismissive maybe there's some good content in there again there are obviously other means to getting to this place of freedom I just don't know many cuz I've looked because I was in the same situation you know a couple of decades ago becoming perfect Pete seriously that was my [ __ ] name in college yeah no pressure perfect Pete I'm like okay I can live up to that yeah it's like that's a [ __ ] terrible game to play yeah but that was again that was appropriate for the person that I'd become orphaned at a young age truly pushed into survival completely up to me because I don't have anyone so I better in order to Garner love and acceptance and whatever I've got to become perfect which equally made me so unrelatable so I'd enjoy the fact that there's something wrong with you it's great being [ __ ] up can you see the opportunity now for your business business yes yeah and what a service you will be now for everybody that you get to work with cuz they promise you they all have their own version and you can now meet them there and that might be all they need because at the end of the day we all just want to be loved and accepted and you couldn't access that for them because you didn't have it for yourself that includes your dad he was doing the best he could and he was your greatest teacher and that's where the Gratitude comes in thank you