Michael Singer describes the constant inner project of trying to fix one's discomfort with itself — and offers a method built on stopping that struggle. He maps out how surrendering the urge to do something about it opens into the unconditional well-being the protective self was looking for.
Transcript
and one is not comfortable within themselves the most basic urge or tendency is to do something about it I would venture to say there will never come a time when it's not like that for anybody it's natural you're not okay you try to make it better you try to do something about it so that's never the question as to whether you're going to try and protect yourself with you're going to try to make it more comfortable with you going to try to get things in a more reasonable comfortable way so we don't have to discuss that you're going to do that everyone does that everyone has always done that the question is how that's the question and have you ever really stopped to look at how you're doing that that's what spirituality is it's stopping to look at how you're doing that I believe in the end they don't even need to be a teaching of how to do it I do believe that a bottle of my being that if people stopped and looked and how they're going about trying to make it better inside they would be shocked and what they saw but we don't do that which is really funny we don't look at it I swear it's very much like getting in a car and not knowing how to drive and never having a discussion with anyone how to drive you just get in this car and you put your foot on a pedal and it starts going and then something looks like it's coming at you and you freak and you just turn away from it not how much do you turn now where are you going it's just sort of like I'm freaking out and this road isn't staying straight and what should I do and you're just reacting to every single thing that comes in from outside well you're not going to get any worse and driving is not going to be a comfortable experience you want to enjoy any of it it's going to be a terrible experience for you and everybody on the road with you that is what it is like for normal human being inside I didn't even know there was such a thing as driving lessons I'm just in here freaking out I thought it was just a matter of how do you kind of not freak out at this moment and make it a little bit nicer so that it isn't as scary if you do that you won't get any worse so spirituality is just stopping for a woman and you look and the first thing you need to be willing to look at is that I'm not okay not freak out just notice hmm not doing so good in here if you can't handle that moment where you notice this is not doing so well in here then you can't do anything about it if you can't stop for a moment and notice that you're in a car and there's pedals in the steering wheel and all you notice is that things are going on out there and you're freaking out then all you're gonna do is react to every single thing that comes and causes you to get disturbed and to have issues and so nothing's going to change that's how most people live their lives that's whatever comes at them they just react and try to be a little bit okay there's a much better way to do it the first thing that requires and we can talk about how to do that for a moment is you need to be able to remain centered conscious clear call whatever you want centered is a good word we're centered mean I'm not scattered all over the place because something happened what does that mean really we use the word centered conscious clear it really means something very simple it means I was driving along doing some what okay relatively okay and all of a sudden somebody cut me off in front of me not enough that I had to really hit him or in like that but just they cut off in front of me am I still here where I was a moment ago enough to notice that somebody cut me off and then I got scared that there was this reactiveness that happened inside of me and that there was this tendency to jam on the brakes to beat the horn to swerve the car whatever it was there's this moment in which the event took place it came in through your senses you were relatively stable then it came in and then there was all this reactive energy that happened inside and could you remain conscious centered clear when happened or did it take over the entire experience and you just reacted to in a sense the lowest part of your being that's the lowest part of your being fear anxiety reactiveness panic alright there's nothing ever came out of panic nobody did well and panic it's like sort of like if you're teaching your kid to play baseball and they get scared when the ball bounces in front of them if they close their eyes turn their head away they will never ever ever play ball and they'll probably get conked on the head the ball doesn't know that I don't want to play the ball doesn't know that that's something you're doing as a form of reactiveness but it's not helping the situation it's the same thing when you go to drive that car or anything else in life you're in there you're gonna be in there it's a question of are you conscious and aware or are you freaked out and reacting so that's what it means to remain centered not freaked out and reacting but here comes the subtleness if the event takes place outside somebody cut you off it's not your fault that the reaction that happens inside is freaky I'm not gonna say to you you're wrong you're bad you lose because it is what happens isn't it it happens instantaneously based on the current state of your psyche just takes place if the world unfolds a certain way and you have certain patterns inside your psychological being those things outside are going to hit those patterns and it's going to react inside that way you shouldn't feel that your fault is not wrong I something do with anything the question of spirituality is can you remain centered clear above it when that takes place can you notice this person cut me off and then my horse started beating really fast and my mind started over there I'm going crazy but I'm still here I don't know how to say it to you all I can say is hi you still there and if you say yes then you are if you don't notice that I was there waving at you because you're too panicking then you're not there that is spirituality and that's your work your work when it's said and done is to always be there why for the same reason if you get into a car and you're driving I expect you to be there they really don't want you on the road if you're not aware that the road is curving that people are driving that lights are changing do you want them driving the road with those people they're like non conscious people they're lost in the reactiveness that's happening inside there is a state in which yes events happen outside yes they do and yes reactions happen inside yes they do the question is what is you the indwelling being you the consciousness the awareness of being what happens to you when that happens in spirituality the answer is very straightforward nothing what nothing happens to me I'm sitting here looking at her she gets up goes sits over there what happens to me when I see her get up and sit over there she gets up and leaves she raised her hand and interrupts me various things can happen can't they what happens to me who's in here looking out when she does that the answer should be nothing it's okay that you know maybe your mind start so I should do it now what did I do whatever it does but what happened to me nothing I'm here I don't have to react to that I don't have to participate in the craziness that can go on inside the psyche because of the event that took place outside that is what it's meant by the words centered that is what is meant by the word clear and as crazy as it sounds that is witness consciousness that is mindfulness we throw these words around but who really understands what they mean they're very simple that's what it means to be established within the self oh that sounded really high it's not high it just means you didn't freak out because your mind freaked out you didn't freak out because your heart started doing something weird you are the indwelling being you are conscious you're always do you have to do anything to be there you are there the problem is when these changes happen inside due to the events outside you permit yourself to get so sucked into them that you might as well not be there there's no one there you're freaking out have you ever seen anybody freak out have you ever just totally freaked out yes regather hey hey it's just a mouse it's cool really it's only 2 inches long jump on the chair I've ever seen you're so freaked out and how often did it help how about never there's never a single time that you freaked out that anything you did was the highest thing you could do yeah if I'm driving and somebody cuts me off and I panic I just panic and I start reacting to my panic how well will I Drive you're always better off being there but that's a silly thing to say if we all know that am I better off when I'm driving at 80 miles an hour with my eyes open my eyes closed you are better off being there that's a very zen term being there now you know what that means that's all it means and I need it just means being there not being there it's an enlightened it's just being there so your first step on your spiritual journey if you really want to grow and it is the essence of personal growth and spiritual growth is you need to find a way to at least be there so that you have some decision points and some choice about what's going on so those are your practices you just learn to be there so coming back to what we're talking about the world unfolds it comes in and a shift takes place inside you have to reach the point that that's okay with you now actually I've now started where I usually end my talks I'm telling you that's what spirituality you've been listening to an excerpt from Michael singers the untethered soul lecture series vol 6 letting go into freedom and fulfillment